Kyria

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Community Never Dies

Dear Linda*,

I remember your image of the "sticky sticky mud" you talked about in your first e-mail to our moms' group. With that e-mail, you announced that Julie,* the daughter you'd named and would carry full-term, couldn't live outside your womb.

As members of one body, Christ's body, we all sit around a table of community, of communion. And in that first e-mail, you invited us, your sisters, to ...

Related Topics: Church, Comfort, Commitment, Community, Friendships, Grief, Relationships

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Tempted to Leave

A number of years ago I started to withdraw from God's people.

Being involved in church seemed impossible because of family problems. My children had abandoned their faith. My husband's passion for God had cooled, and our marriage was taking such a hit that I wondered if it could survive much longer. My prayers seemed futile.

When I went to church, each time someone asked, "How are your daughters?" ...

Related Topics: Authenticity, Church, Community, Conflict, Relationships, Trust

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Isolation Nation

It was one of those rare academic statistics that caught the eye of the nation: Nearly 25 percent of Americans surveyed said they had no one in whom to confide.

The statistic was from the "Social Isolation in America" study, published in the June 2006 American Sociological Review. On average, the study found American adults have only two close friends—down from an average of three in 1985. The ...

Related Topics: Community, Connecting, Fellowship, Friendship, Loneliness, Neighbors

Mouse-to-Mouse Conflict

I knew better than to hit the send button on my keyboard, but I did it anyway. I wanted Gretchen (not her real name) to understand my feelings about her early-morning message. Her request sounded innocent enough: "Would you cover my spot this Sunday while I'm on vacation?" But the polite tone didn't fool me for a minute. As she'd done so often, Gretchen had assumed I'd serve without her asking me ...

Related Topics: Anger, Arguments, Blame, Conflict, Confrontation, Respect

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I Thought You Ought to Know That ...

Carl called me aside after Sunday school class. "You haven't seen much of Pete lately, have you?" he asked. Before I responded, he said, "I thought you ought to know that you offended him by something you said."

"Offended him?" I wondered what I could have done.

"One Sunday he tried to get into the church office and the door was locked. You came by and said, "That's the first time I ever saw you trying ...

Related Topics: Conflict resolution, Confrontation, forgiveness

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Great Question: When is it okay to leave a church?

When is it okay, even healthy, to leave a church? I'm struggling at my church, but I've attended it for a long time and feel guilty about possibly looking for another congregation.

I applaud you for even pondering this question. All too often God's people switch loyalties from one church to another with the same amount of deliberation they give to what kind of fast food they'll eat for lunch! Yet choosing ...

Related Topics: Changing Churches, Church involvement, Church Search, Cliques

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Open Circle

The sound of their laughter carried across the crowded lobby one Sunday morning after church, as one of the women in the group momentarily glanced in my direction. I read her glance and smile as an invitation to join them.

"How are you all this morn—"

Another wave of laughter rippled around the group, swallowing the rest of my greeting. I tried gently inject-ing myself into the conversation, but ...

Related Topics: Church involvement, Cliques, Friends, Friendship, Lessons Learned

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Personality Clash!

Although I hadn't yet spent much time with her, I admired "Sarah." I could learn a lot from her, since I was a new missionary and she'd served overseas for years. She was energetic, decisive, resourceful, and confident. Most importantly, she loved the Lord and wanted to make her life count for eternity.

I can't remember exactly when my feelings toward Sarah began to change, but as the weeks progressed, ...

Related Topics: Conflict, Enemies, Ministry Leaders, Relationships, Difficult

The Tithing Challenge

Testing God is usually discouraged by pastors and churches. After all, there are pretty good reasons for avoiding the practice. In Matthew 4:7 Jesus quotes from Deuteronomy: "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'" In the book of Acts, after discovering some questionable donations, the apostle Peter asks a woman named Sapphira, "How could you agree to test the Spirit of the ...

Crossing the Divide

One thing is sure: None of us is born a racist.

We are, however, born with the ability to perceive differences—in sounds, colors, shapes, and sizes. Noticing those differences (I'm taller than you; you have white skin and I have brown) is an inherent capability, but forming attitudes about them (It's better to be tall; it's better to be white) is imparted. Our friends, family, and culture teach ...