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What's the difference between "seeing sin" in someone else's life and confronting it, and having a critical spirit?

The key distinction between recognizing behavior that's ungodly and passing judgment on others is the posture of our heart. Are we aware of other people's mistakes because they trust us and have confided in us, or have we appointed ourselves the "moral police" so as to justify examining blemishes in everyone else's behavior? Is our ultimate goal to help restore prodigals into a redemptive relationship with Jesus, or do we have a hidden agenda to elevate ourselves by condemning those around us? Be honest now!

What Does God Say About This?

Here are two oft-quoted Scriptures about confronting someone else's sin:

"If your fellow believer sins against you, go and tell him in private what he did wrong. If he listens to you, you have helped that person to be your brother or sister again. But if he refuses to listen, go to him again and take one or two other people with you. … If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, then treat him like a person who does not believe in God or like a tax collector" (Matthew 18:15-17, NCV).

"If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:1-3, ESV).

The first passage applies solely to professing Christians and includes disciplinary consequences. The second is gentler in tone and more general in application. And while both examples encourage straightforward dialogue about ungodly behavior, they also clarify the respectful parameters in which those hard conversations should take place.

I think the most compelling lesson about uncovering sin in someone else's life occurs in John's Gospel account, when a group of angry deacons shove an adulterous woman in front of Jesus while he's teaching in the temple courts:

"The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, 'Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?' This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, 'Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her'" (John 8:3-7, ESV).

One simple statement from our Savior left those mean-spirited men—who up until that moment had been hurling insults—mute. His words illuminated their own ugly flaws, which made shaming someone else much less appealing. One by one they dropped their rocks and slunk away.

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Matt 18:15-17 also states that "if a brother sins AGAINST YOU.." I think that is important to note. Thanks for a great reminder to drop our stones.

I understand this, I actually had a mentor that I thought believed in me until one day I said " so, tell me what you think I need to work on!(I can take it) she let me know. her statement resulted in me feeling like an outcast, hurt, wounded, and looked down upon. It has changed our relationship, it was a horrible experience. Sometimes people are not going to always see us the way the Lord does. How does God see me? that is the question and coming to really know, understand and believe that, that is the answer. God is our security, making him our security is the main point, He loves us, he accepted us, He wants to change us and he will by his word(if we let him) but he accepts us and loves us those are foundational keys, we need to know that so we can move on and grow in his love. The Lord changed Simon's name(Flaky Leaf) to Peter (Rock) he accepted Peter, he walked with Peter, Peter fell, but the Lord forgave him. Peter changed. Peter changed by Jesus' loving grace and investment.

A huge revelation I had recently is in regards to Matthew 18--that line about "if he doesn't listen to the Church, treat him like an unbeliever or a tax collector." What EXACTLY does that mean? Most of my life I have thought it to mean that I turn my back on them, complete with disdain, and feel justified doing so. Instead, to treat someone like an unbeliever or a tax collector, according to how Jesus lived it out, is to LOVE THEM INTO THE KINGDOM...as in, be kind and not judgmental.

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