The Beauty of Weakness
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My life verse is an oddball one: "But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen …" (1 Corinthians 1:27-28, NASB). Unlike the apostle Paul who recounts his rise of fame in Judaism, in Galatians 1, my history reads far different.
I was foolish. I spent my early life trying to protect myself from predators.
I was weak. I couldn't fend off those abusers, particularly when they outnumbered me when I was five years old. Two brothers and their friends took their turns with me my kindergarten year.
I was base. What they did to me confirmed what I felt was unworthiness.
I was despised. In my chaotic, unsafe home, though I know my parents did the best they could, I had a hard time understanding their love for me. I felt in the way.
Recounting all this isn't my way of hoping you'll feel sorry for me. In contrast, rejoice with me. Because the circumstances I count as weaknesses and pain are the very things that drew me to Jesus Christ. These are what I call thin places. The Celts see thin places as physical places on the earth where the veil between God and us is veneer, ethereally thin. I bend the metaphor a bit to apply to our lives: "Thin places are snatches of holy ground, tucked into the corners of our world, where we might just catch a glimpse of eternity. They are aha moments, beautiful realizations, when the Son of God bursts through the hazy fog of our monotony and shines on us afresh."
It's in these weak moments I've experienced God's presence. Because I felt the sting of abuse, I longed for a world someday that would be made right—a holy desire for a new heavens and a new earth. Because my father died when I was ten, leaving a daddy-shaped wound, I thirsted for a Daddy who would never leave. Because I walked through life feeling in the way, God's surprising affection and grace flabbergasted me, making me love him all the more. All these deficits have morphed into huge spiritual benefits.
As women of God, we often try like crazy to look holy, to appear spiritually astute. We spend time managing our reputations, wasting energy on proving to the world that our strengths are worth applause. Can we let go of that for a moment? The truth is, spiritual growth seldom happens on the platform of our strength. Look back on your life. When have you grown the most radically? When has your heart hungered and thirsted for God? During times of beauty and joy? No, usually during times of devastating fear and weakness.
That's why I love the Phillips translation of James 1:2: "When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives my brothers, don't resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends!" It's counterintuitive, Kingdom thinking that can honestly welcome trials as friends, that can see how difficulties are the soil in which our hearts grow.
Related Topics:
Abuse, Appearances, Joy, Recovery, Redemption, Self-Worth, submission
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kim in georgia
I've been a Jesus follower for 15 years and this is one area I have battled with over the years. It's not that I don't understand it, but guess I have yet to pass the test; having perfect confidence in Him as Thailu put it so well is probably what I lack. I want to trust God with everything but fail miserable at it so many times. Your article has inspired me to look for the thin places and appreciate the suffering knowing He is "growing my heart up" for him.
Mary DeMuth
Alexandrine, thanks for coming back and sharing your heart again. I'm thankful that the Lord saw fit to meet you in your pain. I do pray He lifts it soon. Amen and amen. Julie, I so appreciate your kind words.
Alexandrine
God bless you all for your prayers. At Church this morning our pastor's wife played on the piano "Draw Me Close To You". I love this song very much. I took it as an encouragement from God that he was with me. During the sermon my heart was touched when the pastor said that our strength will be renewed like the eagles. God is with me and I feel it but I'm struggling with this depression that is agony. I guess I have the idea planted in my head that he takes this stuff away instantly like pain reliever. And I know that he can! But he's allowing me to suffer deep, deep pain. Like your heart is tearing to pieces. I pray that I can learn from this and grow and not get depressed. I'm trying to understand and learn but this terrible ache is in my heart. But at the same time I feel like Jesus is standing right there.......holding me. I guess I'm trying to find logic in the mist of all this pain. God bless you, sisters in Christ, for your prayers! Thank you!!!!!
kat
Jude 24-25: To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen. 2 Timothy 2:13: if we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown himself. Praying for you, Alexandrine!
julia elder
As always, Mary, you use the parts of you considered weak by the world to inspire others. Your willingness to acknowledge your own shortcomings and use them for God definitely inspires me--i am one who struggles to sense God IN the time of trial but doesn't always realize He was there all along until after. Please keep reminding us where to look when we are in the midst of the muddy road.
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