What's So Amazing About … My Testimony?
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I sat motionless in my chair, listening to the speaker give his testimony. Joe's story held us spellbound. It was the kind that totally mesmerizes hundreds of people for an hour. The kind that tugs at heartstrings and sends silent tears trickling down cheeks throughout the auditorium. The kind that leads to repentance and faith rededications at the end of a service.
I left the chapel service amazed and inspired. And frustrated. God had so obviously worked in this man's life, and his powerful story touched hearts. Of course, his wasn't the first incredible testimony I'd heard. Growing up in the church, I listened to many men and women tell of God's grace in their life. The most powerful stories always involved pain and heartache—women who had abortions, men who battled pornography addictions, teens who escaped a life of drugs and alcohol. These Christian brothers and sisters told how they saw God's hand in the midst of suffering and sorrow. Their stories always inspired and encouraged me. They also made me resent my own dull testimony.
As a pastor's daughter, I grew up in a stable Christian home. At four years old, I prayed with my mother to ask Christ to be the Savior and Lord of my life. I can count on one hand the number of Sundays I missed church from infancy through high school. I never went through a rebellious period, hung around the bad crowd, had a shady boyfriend, or tried drugs or cigarettes. For a couple years during college, I struggled with doubt and cynicism about Christianity, but that eventually solidified my faith and grew my relationship with God.
How would that story inspire anything but a yawn? If only I had a little drama in my life. An accident or addiction. An adolescent run-in with the cops. I felt ridiculous wishing for bad things to happen, but I did just the same. I even asked God to cause something dramatic to happen in my life. Nothing too terrible, of course. Just enough to give my testimony some punch.
A few months after that chapel service, I had an opportunity to talk with Joe, the speaker who'd given his powerful testimony. I told him I sometimes felt guilty for having such an uneventful spiritual life while others suffered.
"Sometimes I pray something bad will happen to me," I confessed. I felt embarrassed telling my secret to someone I hardly knew, but I was desperate to sort out my feelings.
Joe's eyes expressed sadness, but his words came out strong and urgent: "I would never in a million years want anyone else to go through what I did." Joe pointed out that my "easy" life was a blessing from God, not something to regret. He was blunt with me: "Don't you dare waste God's blessings by wishing for harm. Use what God has given you."
I knew Joe was right. I asked God to forgive my ingratitude and foolishness. Still, I couldn't shake my feelings of guilt for having such an easy life compared to so many others. I felt bored and restless. I didn't see how my mostly pain-free life demonstrated God's mercy and grace. I needed to be rescued from something. Didn't I?
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2005, May/June, Vol. 27, Issue 3, Page 34
Related Topics:
Faithfulness, God's Grace, My Story, Spiritual Journey, Testimony, Upbringing, Christian
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Vivek Hebbal ,Pune , India
Those who have a Godly upbringing & have a non eventful Testimony , like me,many times would fall into that trap & try adding Masala(Spice)to our testimonies. Jesus said "If I'm lifted up , I'll draw all men to myself". We go on witnessing & lifting HIM up in our testimonies, He'll do the drawing. Lets use every opportunity that comes our way. Every labour of ours will not be in vain.What a God we serve !!
Johann
Good article. It seems like in every evangelical/Pentecostal church the focus is always on the person who has the most disreputable past, which they seem to glorify in the more times they give their "testimony". I'm glad you repented, but let's celebrate the people who never strayed from the path of righteousness. Isn't that what we should be striving for?
Challenger
This article actually hits on, in my opinion, one of the main reasons why there are so many backsliders after 'going forward' and being 'converted'. Why do we come to Christ? Is it because we are offered a 'better life' than the one we have? The testimonies of "What Christ Did For me." or "Look what God rescued me from." are the kinds of things that cause people to flock to the front to be saved. Then reality bites ..... a problem here, a problem there ..... goodbye everyone. Who is God? Who is Jesus? Is He someone to be attracted to because He is so wonderful and worthy of our lives? Or is He just Santa God, the gift-giver? It seems to me that the best testimony of all is from someone who has seen who God is and follows Him because of that. Notwithstanding, of course, that we all need to be rescued from sin and an eternity without Him.
Thersea
BTW Karen let your light shine and never be ashamed. Second and third generation christians seem to be less and less these days and that's heartbreaking. You are my role model not others.!
Thersea
I don't know that my testimony is boring exactly...but I became a christian at 18. I also have no addiction past and have managed to stay a virgin at 51. Hah ! Imagine that. I did get involved in bad theology and abusive churches in the early 1990's I wonder if that counts? I endeavor to cooperate with the Holy Spirits keeping power as it's ALOT of work when you get off His path ! Most of my girlfriends have unbelieving husbands and it's tiring to watch at times.
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