'I Grew Up in a Polygamist Family.'
I was one of 13 children raised by our father and three mothers in a polygamist community in Utah. We were fundamentalist Mormons who practiced the original teachings of Mormonism from its founder Joseph Smith. This teaching includes following the Principle, which states a man must practice polygamy—marrying at least three wives—to enter the Celestial Kingdom.
Even though I knew which woman was my biological mother, we were encouraged to treat all the wives the same. Outwardly, our family seemed content, but beneath the surface lay jealousy and pain. We never acknowledged these feelings because we were supposed to sacrifice our emotions. Even laughter was discouraged.
We were constantly told to "keep sweet" and that "perfect obedience produces perfect faith." Behind these sugary slogans lay the impossible duty of living in complete obedience to the Prophet.
Losing My Religion
In Fundamental Latter Day Saints (FLDS), the Prophet is the earthly leader and mediator between God and man. Women are on this earth to serve their husband and obey the Prophet. If a woman does this faithfully, her husband may invite her to join him in the Celestial Kingdom. A woman's eternal fate depends on keeping this Principle.
The Prophet is in charge of the Placement of young girls in marriage. The quality of her Placement depends on her level of sweetness. Knowing this, I tried very hard to live in obedience. At age 14, I began sewing my wedding dress in anticipation of my Placement. I hoped I'd like my future husband, but I feared my fate would be like those who never knew love.
When I was a child, the Prophet was Leroy Johnson. We called him Uncle Roy. He was a feeble old man who prophesied he'd never die—that he'd become young again and be lifted up to heaven. If I kept sweet, I'd be taken with him. I looked forward to that glorious day with hope and fear. Would I be lifted up? Or would I be left behind?
My world fell apart when Uncle Roy died of health issues in 1986. He was 93; I was 15. Television cameras filmed me among the many mourners crying at his funeral. However, I wasn't weeping over the death of Leroy Johnson. I was weeping over the death of my faith. I realized the Prophet had been wrong. If you couldn't trust the Prophet, why bother to keep sweet?
Rules and Rebellion
I refused to place my faith in Rulon Jeffs, the next Prophet. Things changed drastically under his leadership. He banned all dancing, sports, and frivolous activities. We were required to wear long sleeves and long underwear even in the hot summer months.
Warren Jeffs, Rulon's son, was the FLDS headmaster of the Alta Academy, where I attended school. He strictly enforced his father's rules, turning the standard of perfect obedience into a heavy burden. We all feared him. He beat the boys and used humiliation to gain submission. He once hauled a second grader to the front of the class, grabbed him by the ankles, and began to shake him up and down, yelling, "I'm shaking the evil out of him!" Each morning at devotions Jeffs chanted, "Keep sweet! Perfect obedience brings perfect faith!" Then, he gave us a new list of rules to obey: We couldn't wear stripes. We must not wear red. Some days we weren't allowed to eat. He changed the rules daily to keep us in constant fear. One steadfast rule stated girls were never to talk to boys. If you looked or smiled at one, you were a Jezebel—a scorned woman. Since I often looked and smiled, I was in constant trouble.
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2006, November/December, Vol. 28, Issue 6, Page 64
Related Topics:
Bible, Truth of, Christ, Work on Cross, Freedom, Fundamental Latter Day Saints, God's Grace, Guilt, Mormons, Polygamy, Shame
More from Kathy as told to Jan Brown:
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Spartan
Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormon faith, didn't take portions of the Book of Mormon very seriously. He contradicted them & changed the wording of parts of the 1830 edition (that was supposedly translated "by the gift and power of God.") 1."For I know that God is not a partial God, neither a changeable being:but he is unchangeable from all eternity to all eternity." (Moroni8:18) About 14 years after the 1830 Book of Mormon came out, Joseph Smith refuted his own book! In a major sermon (see Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, compiled by Joseph Fielding Smith, p. 345) we read: "We have imagined and supposed that God was God from all eternity. I will refute that idea, and take away the veil,..." "I will preach on the plurality of Gods. I have selected this text for that express purpose. I wish to declare I have always and in all congregations when I have preached on the subject of the Deity, it has been the plurality of Gods... ( Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 370)
Zacarias
Smith stated that he received a revelation in July 12, 1843, that outlined the requirements to live in the highest glory of the celestial heaven. This revelation states that "a new and an everlasting covenant" of plural marriage is given, contains numerous Biblical references to and justifications of polygamy, as well as the demand that Smith's first wife, Emma, accept all of Smith's plural wives, and warns of damnation if the new covenant is not observed.[3] Smith said that plural wives "are given unto him to multiply and replenish the earth, according to my commandment, and to fulfill the promise which was given by my Father before the foundation of the world, and for their exaltation in the eternal worlds, that they may bear the souls of men."[4] Smith later said:... Wikipedia
Don in Turkey
Thank you for sharing of your appropriation of the blood of the lamb (Joh 1:29). I see by the replies the SLC LDS are reading good Christian work. Still trying to look like Christians. They are not! The LDS redefine good Bible words. Ask one to give you the meaning of Gospel or salvation? It will not be the good news of the death, burial, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ as spoken of in I Cor. 15:1-8. It will be something about good works. Not by God’s grace and faith Eph 2:8-10. Oh yes, they will tell us that the translated Bible is full of errors. Ask them if they have checked it out? They will say something like “no but our great scholars have.” Ask them about there holy underwear? Keep sharing the good news of your salvation in Christ, knowing that The God of creation is very pleased with you.
shoshanna
Welcome to the family !! Thank you for sharing your story with the world. I have been watching you and some of the other women on the recent news programs and my heart aches for the pain that you have experienced. I am so glad that the state of Texas has taken a stand against this compound and that the children have been removed. Maybe this will motivate the mothers to reach out for freedom, and once free in body and mind, they will be able to reunite with their children. Jesus said that when we knew the truth the truth would set us free. Thank you for your beautiful courage.
king Benjamin
Joseph Smith never practiced polygamy and not the founder of Mormonism! Brigham Young took over part of the church of Jesus Christ But Joseph Smith was dead when the LDS Church or Flds started! Brigham re-baptized his followers. Book of Mormon does not condone polygamy nor does it clash with the bible! It is a history of the tribe of Joseph after Egypt with a chapter on the the time after the tower of Babylon. The book of Mormon leaves no doubt that God abhors polygamy! few critics ever read The Book of Mormon nor try to explain the 2nd chapter of Jacob the following verses: [26] Wherefore, I the Lord God will not suffer that this people shall do like unto them of old. [27] Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none; 28] For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Host.
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