When God Seems Silent
Not too long ago, it seemed as though God had packed up, moved far away, and left me no forwarding address. I was unable to sense his promptings and overall presence as I searched for him during trying times. I felt abandoned, confused, and terribly alone.
The year actually had started out on an opposite note. In January, I'd realized a lifelong dream—the publication of my first book. The spring months were jammed with talk show interviews and a stepped-up speaking schedule. Blessings were everywhere. In the midst of it all, God gave me a vision to start a new ministry for Christians in the workplace. I was on a roll.
With great excitement, I raced through all the open doors. My quiet times were rich, God's directions were clear, and all the lights were green. As long as God kept guiding, directing, leading, and blessing, I felt I could handle all the pressure and change.
Then, a recession in the summer of 2001 slowed my small consulting business. I was worried because I now had the added expenses of launching a new ministry. I hoped that by fall, everything would be back to normal. Little did I know the events of September 11 were right around the corner.
After 9-11, "bad-to-worse" took on a whole new meaning. The economy reeled. Clients stopped paying their bills and called off future projects. Speaking engagements were canceled. The stress caused my fibromyalgia to flare and a relentless cycle of pain, fatigue, and depression followed. To top it all off, my health insurance provider filed for bankruptcy.
Daily I approached God with growing concern. "Okay, God, I'm sure you've got a plan. Show me what I'm supposed to do here. I need you now more than ever. I'm a middle-aged woman on my own. I'm physically hurting, emotionally spent. How should I deal with this?"
The silence was deafening.
My prayers became more strident: "God, this is not the time to play hide-and-seek. I'm facing some serious anxiety here. Now would be an especially good time to hear from you!"
For more than two decades, the Holy Spirit had filled my head and heart with comfort, encouragement, leadings, inklings, instructions—even in the rockiest of times. But for the next six months, God was totally mute.
What's going on when God's silence seems palpable? What on earth is he up to? The hard reality is, some things are best learned in the dark. Here's what God taught me through that tough time of his silence.
Silence is Not Absence
I come from a long line of "talkers." When I was growing up, our house was quiet only when no one was home. I recall one time chattering to God about my endless litany of needs and wants, ending with, "Are you listening, God?" As clearly as if he were sitting next to me in the flesh, I heard him say in my spirit, Yes, child, I'm listening. Would you like to listen for awhile?
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2003, March/April, Vol. 25, Issue 2, Page 44
Related Topics:
Anxiety, Authenticity, Community, Direction, God, faithfulness of, Hearing God's voice, Holy Spirit, Prayer, Presence of God, Scripture, Silence, Solitude, Surrender, Trust
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Average User Rating:
Mari
As one who was deceived by my husband for 17 years, I can understand Marth'a comment. Life is tough when this happens. However - I do know that God is faithful - but sometimes Christians make it all sound so easy. It's not!!
crystalruby
Thank you so much. I had to read stop and read this article in portions only because it is so inspiring and has spoke and touched my life like nothing before plus helped me to really know God is always with me and will always be with me. I thank the Lord for you and how He is using you.
martha
Rather than waiting EIGHT years for God to "speak", I would have hired a detective to see what my husband was up to. I don't like this 'victim' mentality, of 'waiting' for God.
jabo07@sbcglobal.net
Thank you so much...you can't even imagine how God has used your story to lift my spirit..Thank you!
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