The Other Pro-Life Movement
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Many years ago Catherine Clark Kroeger faced a decision that would influence her life's course. Serving alongside her pastor husband, Catherine became aware of a woman in her church whose husband was physically abusing her.
Incredibly, several influential church leaders discouraged Catherine from getting too involved. "To them, I was destroying the home by encouraging the woman to get away from the abuse," she remembers.
Then Catherine received a call from the battered woman's counselor, who said, "You've got to get either the husband or the wife out of the home, or you're going to have a murder."
So Catherine drove to the woman's house to pick her up and help her find shelter. "I decided preserving the life was more important at that time than preserving the family," Catherine says. It wasn't a popular choice among members of her congregation, but the woman likely is alive today because of it.
It was the first in a series of similar incidents that made Catherine realize the prevalence of domestic violence within Christian circles, and how women desperately need help. She went on to become a seminary professor, counselor at a local shelter, and coauthor of two books on domestic violence.
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that one in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. And this statistic often excludes incidents of emotional and sexual abuse that go untold.
Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than cancer or traffic accidents. According to The American College of Obstetricians and Gyneco-logists, domestic violence is the cause of nearly a quarter million hospital visits every year.
In their book No Place for Abuse (IVP Books), Catherine and coauthor Nancy Nason-Clark reveal that 83 percent of American and Canadian clergy interviewed during a six-year study shared that at some point in their ministry they've counseled a woman who has an abusive spouse or partner. Additionally, Paula Silva, cofounder of Focus Ministries, a small Illinois-based organization that reaches out to battered women, reports that her ministry alone received 2,000 calls, e-mails, and visits in 2007 from Christian women in abusive situations seeking help.
"Saying that abuse isn't happening to women within the church is like saying sin doesn't happen," says Paula, who's also coauthored Violence Among Us: Ministry to Families in Crisis (Judson Press).
Catherine believes the church can create an environment where long-term abuse goes undetected. "Many churches today still promote a misplaced theology on the family where the husband's will always trumps the wife's, divorce is not an option, and submission is deeply misunderstood," she says. "We deny and minimalize abuse because we have this glorified concept of what the Christian family ought to be."
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2009, March/April, Vol. 31, Issue 2, Page 39
Related Topics:
Abuse, Church, Domestic violence, Help, Marriage, Safety
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Andiwarire
This is agood ministry indeed. I believe that in my church there also alot of women who are abused but cannot say it out for various reasons. I am inerested to start this ministry in my church will you please help me how I can go about it. More especially I will need to know what type of advise to provide to what type of problem. I am also in abusive marriege and I want to stand up ans help others as well as myself. Andiwalire
Katelynn
Ladies, I was almost beaten to death by my ex husband. I had to legally change my name and take my 3 kids and move to a different state. It is a life I pray to God no woman can relate too. We cannot rely on law enforcement or the government to protect us... this is just not going to happen. Therefore, I challange every woman to go to every one of her girlfriends, and vow a pact of accountability where if there is even a hint of violence, your girlfriends will provide safe harbor! It seems the only way that violence against women is going to be curbed is for us women, to protect other women. We can make this happen! We have to... its a matter of life and death.
Antoinett
Well done Catherine... wish more people were brave enough to come forward and help women like this. I was in an abusive marriage for 15 years and was advised to stay in it as that was 'scriptural'. God in His mercy delivered me from my situation and I was able to get out of it with my 13 year old daughter. Today.... 15 years later I know that I should have got out long before that.
Anony
I agree with the writer in all that was said. It is a shame that the churches so not want to talk about the "abuse" that women face through the years. Emotional abuse, and physical abuse equals "abuse". I am disgusted over the years to hear from the "pulpit", "wives submit to your own husbands". I am reminded of the Bible which also says that we must submit one to another. We must listen to each other, be kind to each other, sacrifice for each other. The husband's responsibility is to love as Christ loves and gave Himself sacrificially for the "church", so ought men to love their wives. A wife submits to "love" not "abuse" in any form. It is only normal for an abusive wife to protect herself in the right way that is. She must never encourage abuse, by allowing it to continue regardless, and she must decide to get out of it. Does God hate divorce more than He hates His daughter being abused?
The VAWA Act
The Violence Against Women Act of 1994 (VAWA) provided $1.6 billion to enhance investigation and prosecution of the violent crime perpetrated against women, increased pre-trial detention of the accused, imposed automatic and mandatory restitution on those convicted, and allowed civil redress in cases prosecutors chose to leave unprosecuted. I can understand that you have issues with N.O.W, but why do you think that the VAWA attacks families? Please explain your position. I wanted to give the article five stars, but couldn't.
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