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Many years ago Catherine Clark Kroeger faced a decision that would influence her life's course. Serving alongside her pastor husband, Catherine became aware of a woman in her church whose husband was physically abusing her.

Incredibly, several influential church leaders discouraged Catherine from getting too involved. "To them, I was destroying the home by encouraging the woman to get away from the abuse," she remembers.

Then Catherine received a call from the battered woman's counselor, who said, "You've got to get either the husband or the wife out of the home, or you're going to have a murder."

So Catherine drove to the woman's house to pick her up and help her find shelter. "I decided preserving the life was more important at that time than preserving the family," Catherine says. It wasn't a popular choice among members of her congregation, but the woman likely is alive today because of it.

It was the first in a series of similar incidents that made Catherine realize the prevalence of domestic violence within Christian circles, and how women desperately need help. She went on to become a seminary professor, counselor at a local shelter, and coauthor of two books on domestic violence.

 The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that one in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. And this statistic often excludes incidents of emotional and sexual abuse that go untold.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than cancer or traffic accidents. According to The American College of Obstetricians and Gyneco-logists, domestic violence is the cause of nearly a quarter million hospital visits every year.

In their book No Place for Abuse (IVP Books), Catherine and coauthor Nancy Nason-Clark reveal that 83 percent of American and Canadian clergy interviewed during a six-year study shared that at some point in their ministry they've counseled a woman who has an abusive spouse or partner. Additionally, Paula Silva, cofounder of Focus Ministries, a small Illinois-based organization that reaches out to battered women, reports that her ministry alone received 2,000 calls, e-mails, and visits in 2007 from Christian women in abusive situations seeking help.

"Saying that abuse isn't happening to women within the church is like saying sin doesn't happen," says Paula, who's also coauthored Violence Among Us: Ministry to Families in Crisis (Judson Press).

Catherine believes the church can create an environment where long-term abuse goes undetected. "Many churches today still promote a misplaced theology on the family where the husband's will always trumps the wife's, divorce is not an option, and submission is deeply misunderstood," she says. "We deny and minimalize abuse because we have this glorified concept of what the Christian family ought to be."

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More people need to admit abuse is common in Christian homes. The Evangelical Covenant Church has had an AVA (Advocacy for Victims of Abuse) program for about 4 years now. People are trained to recognize abuse and given knowledge on how and when to assist the abused person/persons. Abuse is also found in dating and more and more we find older people being cared for by others being abused.

I lived in an abusive relationship for over 30 years. Have been divorced for 12 years, and have only today realised that I am still suffering from after effects of that abuse, as I am finding great difficulty in dealing with a tradesman so like my ex in his bullying, blustering and manipulating ways. I dealt with all this with the Lord this morning. He has brought this man into my life to show me where I still need healing after all these years. I have been celibate for nearly 15 years, unwilling until fairly recently to even think of another relationship. With the healing that I have undergone today, together with many years of counselling, I may be ready, should the right Christian man come along. I would have to be certain in my spirit that he was a born again Christian, as I was young and fooled by my ex into marrying him, believing that he was a Christian. I am older and wiser now, but still, so it would seem, dealing with the aftermath of years of violence.

I remained married for 26 years to a man who told me he knew how to kill me in such a way that nobody would ever suspect, because he was trained in the Army to do it. He scared me and belittled me and called me terrible names. He held it over my head that the Bible said a woman should please her husband. I am deeply thankful that I got counseling and I got out. I know now that God never wanted me or anyone to submit to such oppression.

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