A Home for a Teenager
"I met a girl."
They were the last words Annette Friesen expected to hear from her husband, Rick, as she picked him up from the airport in June 2005.
Whoa, Annette thought. Twenty-nine years of marriage and you meet someone.
Rick explained that, traveling home from a business trip in California, he'd been seated next to a teenaged girl. Small and thin, dressed in bobby socks and a denim skirt and carrying a gym bag, she seemed to be traveling alone. Intrigued, Rick struck up a conversation with her.
She told him her name was Christina, and she was 15 years old. Then she stunned Rick by explaining she was a foster kid traveling to a shelter. Her case worker had been unavoidably seated a few rows behind them. Over the two-hour flight, she hesitantly shared pieces of her story. Abandoned by her mother as an infant. Raised by an abusive, alcoholic father and eventually removed from her home when she was 12. Placed in a foster family where she couldn't fit in. And now, on her way to an uncertain future in Mississippi.
"I just kept thinking, We have empty bedrooms and we're not that old," Rick told Annette. "Maybe we can do something."
Annette was astonished. With their three children grown and gone for the past two years, she and Rick had been relishing their freedom. Both enjoyed fulfilling jobs with Peacemaker Ministries and tooling around on Rick's new Harley. This sudden interest in taking on a child he'd just met seemed to come from left field.
You Want to What?
The next morning, Rick told Annette, "I want to look for Christina. Can I?"
When she asked what he'd do if he found her, Rick explained that he wanted to make sure Christina was okay. Then he added, "And maybe we can talk about fostering and adopting her."
"I wasn't sure how I felt about the idea," Annette recalls. "But I didn't think God would give Rick such a strong emotion without us needing to do something about it. I didn't think it was something I should ignore."
Deep down she didn't believe Rick would locate the girl. To her surprise, just a week and a half later he announced, "I found her."
As Rick exchanged e-mails and phone calls with Christina's caseworker, Matt Matthews, the Friesens continued to pray together as well as enlist the prayers of friends and church members. In early August they flew to Mississippi to talk with Matt in person.
"My fear was rising because this was becoming more of a reality," Annette recalls. "I felt God was calling us on some sort of mission. But I didn't feel equipped for it."
Talking with Matt and learning more about Christina did much to set Annette's mind at ease. She left the meeting ready to face the next hurdle—meeting Christina in person. But for Annette, that step required a commitment.
"I knew I had to make a decision then and there—was I going to take Christina sight unseen?" she says, voice breaking. "Because I refused to see her and then say, 'Oh no, you're not what I want.' God didn't qualify me to be his child, and I wouldn't do that to her."
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2008, November/December, Vol. 30, Issue 6, Page 59
Related Topics:
Adoption, Foster care, Marriage, Motherhood, parenting
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John
Inspirational article. Parenting troubled teenagers these days is becoming hard to parents these days and they are looking for specialized support, but as there are number of centers offering these services it is better to get detailed information on these teen homes and take a proper decision. http://www.strugglingteen.net/
Kristal
My husband and I are trying to get involved in foster care/adoption. It's been a very long process. There is more need now than ever for older children to be adopted. The sad part of it refers to Tami's comment. These children go through to much abuse before they are removed from their homes. There is so much damage done by then. But it's also important to remember that it's not their fault. They still need someone to love them.
Tami
This story really touched my heart, but as someone who works with kids in the foster care (from the mental health side) I know all too well that many of these kids are so damaged that it takes nearly heroic efforts to parent them and so many of them end up "sent back." Getting into foster care/adoption thinking that all of them will be like the girl in this story could be dangerous. But if you read this and are considering that option, you are making the world a better place to live.
J.Hutchings
I dont even know what to say. This story shows me that God is never done with you. No matter how old you are, as long as you are still breathing God can use you to speak, to listen and touch another's life. May God watch over your home and I pray that Christina accepts Christ into her life and makes God her number 1.
Lisa
This article was awesome! I have been very burdened and saddened over the articles I have been reading about leaving teens in a Nebraska "safe place" where parents who no longer want the burdensome and troubled teen living with them. I was a very troubled teen and know that my parents went through tremendous hardships over my rebellion. But I also know now, at the age of 41, I am realizing that I too was abandoned by my bioligical mother, raised by a step mother who probably resented the extra responsibility and the story could go on at all the wounds I recieved growing up. These teens need love. I have finally been adopted, by my Heavenly Father and what a blessing it is to finally belong! God bless !
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