When Your Loved One Doesn't Come to Christ
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My husband asked me recently if I've ever been angry with God. It only took me a few seconds to answer, "Yes—when my dad died." His question flooded my emotions with the same anger I felt years ago that I still have to work through occasionally.
When I became a Christian as a teenager, the person who led me to Christ told me to pray for my parents, since they didn't know God. I threw myself passionately into that task. I clung to verses such as 1 John 5:14-15, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him."
I reasoned that it's certainly God's will that my parents come to Christ, so I never doubted that it would happen. I thought that I may have been placed in this family just so I could pray for them. I gained courage from hearing testimonies time after time of someone who prayed for a loved one for years and finally saw a remarkable conversion. I never heard anyone speak of praying for a loved one who didn't receive Christ.
I had a great relationship with my father. He was 42 when I was born and had raised four other children by the time I'd come along, so he'd mellowed and appreciated the chance to parent again. He was the kind of dad most girls dream of. He taught me to dance and ice skate, sang me songs, and quoted me poetry. We were very much alike in personality, so we understood each other's humor, loved to debate every subject under the sun, and were always ready for a new adventure (much to my poor, loved-to-stay-at-home mother's chagrin). I adored my dad.
So when he was diagnosed with cancer, I was sad. I didn't want to see him suffer. But that didn't make me angry with God. I understood that we live in a fallen world and that our bodies wear out one way or another. I prayed for healing, but I don't think I really expected it to be answered. My dad had the kind of cancer that has no cure, and he was in his 70s, so I felt blessed to have him as long as I did.
My sister, my husband, and I had some opportunities to share Christ with my dad as he suffered with cancer for the next six years. He always listened politely and said that he'd think about what we said. We prayed fervently and waited expectantly to hear his confession of faith.
My anger came in the hospital when he was dying. Toward the end, my husband, sister, and I were in the room alone with my dad. My husband began to encourage my dad, who was filled with morphine because of all the pain he was in, to surrender his life to Christ. My sister heartily agreed, and my dad cried, "No, no, leave me alone!" I patted his hand and tried to comfort him, but the conversation was over. I was so horrified that I couldn't look at my husband or sister. I felt like someone had literally squeezed my heart with their fist.
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Delia
God is much bigger that anything we can imagine, and He is a just judge. And i believe that God can approach him in a different way, that made him accept Christ, in His own mighty way, the prayer of the righteous avails much. your prayers were not forgotten or unheard. My grand ma says God is a God who is fair and always gives chance for a man to receive Christ in a split second before dying. your dad was in coma, that could be the reason that he did not die right away but stays in coma then died. come to think of it that your dad was a loving dad, he teaches you to be a better person, and he perform his task as a father to his children. Your eyes may not see him coming to Christ and not heard his confession of faith, but God is not a man, that has limit, deaf and mute. He can reach out and stretch His Arms, to save your earthly father. He is mighty to save.
Anonymous
It is amazing that you can have this experience and still have faith in God!
Rebecca Webb
I am so thankful for this article. It's my husband I've been praying for. My step-dad talked to me about this same subject just yesterday and now I am reading the same subject. What a wonderful God that He speaks to us this way.
matilda
Am so grateful for this article i also lost my daddy in the same way when i had prayed for him for quit a number of years and he died without accepting christ and i became disappoiteded but later i realised that it is God who chooses whom to have mercy unto and also it is the responsibility of each individual to accept or refuse Jesus Christ. it has also encouraged me to continue pray for my husband and even the loved ones to come back to Christ. matilda.R.
Denise
God says: “I knew you before you were conceived in your mother’s womb.” So many things God’s children do not understand. Jesus came to offer comfort to God’s children and convict the religious leaders mandating theological rules to get into heaven. 2000 years later religion continues to propagate theological rules. One line “no one comes to the father but through the son” is used to spread theocracy and fear in the hearts of God’s children. You sense it in people’s stories of loved ones. Jesus’ messages and examples of unconditional love and acceptance to all angered the religious leaders. Today we question eternal destinations based upon religious persuasions. Jesus came to break the chains of religion, show us how to live our lives, prayed “forgive them for they know not what they do,” gave all mankind unconditional access to the Father, and without a sinner’s prayer told two next to him on the cross they would be with him in paradise, then told mankind “it is finished.” Shalom
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