Kyria

Monica

October 02, 2011  11:16am

I lost my father on the 2nd of August. Tears begin to well even as I type. In addition to the pain of losing my dad, I feel like I'm subjected to the additional pain of close friends who don't know how to respond to me so they simply stay away at a time when I need them most. I have a close friend who all but stopped talking to me after I returned to work. The only way she started talking again was because I decided to try to act "normal" around her and not talk about my dad so that she would be comfortable. What a burden. I was a part of a small group when my father died. I've not returned because more than half the members haven't expressed condolences at all. How painful. I feel like I have to tell people what I need at a time when I'm just too weak to do so. People don't realize that a simple visit, phone call or even text message can carry so much weight and be such a blessing. Thank you for this article. It will help me be mindful the next time a friend experiences a loss.

Planetoid, when you read comments or hear statements from Christians that attribute an illness or an accident to someone's lack of faith, or due to a sin, please keep in mind that this is not what Jesus taught. Unfortunately, Christianity is literally flooded with false teachers. The so-called Christian tv shows are filled with false charletans. They make Christians look like fools and turn unbelievers away. For those of who do believe, it makes us very sad and sick to see people influenced by them. Back in biblical times, they would also attribute things like blindness to a sin. The truth is, illness and death entered the world when Adam and Eve sinned, and the fact is, we all get sick, and we will all pass away, unless He returns for us first. Christians do not have a lower rate of cancer, heart disease, or death than non-Christians. That's obvious, and yet people continue to believe the false preachers that Jesus predicted would really increase in the end times. John9:1-3blindman

Reading things like this make me so happy to be atheist. Would not want to spend ten seconds in the company of judgmental cretins like this, much less eternity: "My friend Melissa confessed that when she first heard of Christopher's illness, she believed it was a result of my husband's previous involvement with role-playing games. But when she gave birth to a stillborn son a year later, she apologized for judging us."

kim

December 15, 2007  9:07pm

What do you do when you have tried to "be there" for your friend and she pushes you away and tells you she grieves in private and that you are smothering her? I am so hurt.It has been a year and a half since we've talked,her loss was 2 and a half years ago. I feel like such a failure. 5 stars

earthangelch

August 28, 2007  10:42am

I am new to your site and enjoy the daily encouragements very much.This article drew my attention, as I'm not the friend, I am the one grieving. Your article spoke mostly of children, which I can only imagine that pain. I am a 56 yr old woman, who went through 35 years of emotional and physical abuse. God sent me my 'soulmate', I was at first leary of this man. Why was he being so nice and why did he want to raise my 6 yr old son? Well, I finally realized our souls were one. We looked forward to our son leaving home, having his family, having our time, retirement, just us. Then 13 years into our relationship, he was taken from me with Leukemnia. I went into such a spiral dark place. It has taken me 7 yrs now to come out of it. Still hurt, still empty, and nothing to look forward to. My body is ravished with Lupus, so I can't go out side. I am in remission as long as I stay inside. Where or what would you tell me? I have 1 friend. 1 brother, and son went to drugs.