When a Friend Hurts

How you can help her get through her grief

Sheila Wray Gregoire

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Related Topics:
Comfort, Friendship, Grief, Listening, pain, Suffering

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August 28, 2007 10:42 AM

earthangelch

I am new to your site and enjoy the daily encouragements very much.This article drew my attention, as I'm not the friend, I am the one grieving. Your article spoke mostly of children, which I can only imagine that pain. I am a 56 yr old woman, who went through 35 years of emotional and physical abuse. God sent me my 'soulmate', I was at first leary of this man. Why was he being so nice and why did he want to raise my 6 yr old son? Well, I finally realized our souls were one. We looked forward to our son leaving home, having his family, having our time, retirement, just us. Then 13 years into our relationship, he was taken from me with Leukemnia. I went into such a spiral dark place. It has taken me 7 yrs now to come out of it. Still hurt, still empty, and nothing to look forward to. My body is ravished with Lupus, so I can't go out side. I am in remission as long as I stay inside. Where or what would you tell me? I have 1 friend. 1 brother, and son went to drugs.

June 26, 2007 6:01 AM

Anonymous

I am blessed by this article at least I now know what say and do. Thank you, Joan

June 01, 2007 5:03 PM

Kathi

You are right that sometimes people don't know how to respond to your pain. The key is being there. And as years have passed, and I have experienced some very painful times in my life, I have found that I can be more sympathetic, and have a better knowledge of what to do and what to say. But considering your friend's feelings of pain is so important. After miscarrying my last baby, at age 42, an older woman I knew told me "You're too old to have another baby anyway!" That was NOT what I needed at the time. But my pastor's wife, who miscarried her first, knew just what to say, feeling my loss, and sharing tears with me. I thank the Lord that He has given me those times of loss and pain, that I might be a friend to others in need, with words of encouragement and sympathy. And another thought: everyone grieves in their own way--don't judge your friends because of the manner in which they grieve. Just let them know you love them, are praying for them to the Healer of all pain