"Should I Spank My Child?"
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[2 Comments]Derek!" I yelled as my young son trotted into the street. I prayed that if my little boy didn't stop, the oncoming car would.
As parents, we all know how important it is to have obedient children. At times, their lives will depend on it. But as Christian parents, we also understand that discipline is about much more than shaping a child's behavior, it's about shaping a child's heart. And that's why we decided to stop spanking our son.
When Derek was born, we put a lot of thought into how we wanted to discipline our children. I turned to the stack of books I'd gathered, read several manuals on discipline, and even attended a Sunday school class demonstrating the appropriate grip and hold to use while spanking. By the time my baby became a toddler in need of correction, I felt fully convinced that spanking was the most effective means of discipline.
Whenever we spanked Derek, we'd follow the spanking with a time of hugging and assurances of our love for him. We didn't spank in anger or as an impulsive reaction. We always surrounded a spanking with instruction and follow up to make sure that Derek understood why he'd been spanked. Over the course of a few months, Derek became an obedient, well-mannered toddler.
One day I was talking to my mother and telling her something about Derek when she suddenly said, "I don't think you should be spanking him." I couldn't believe my ears! Couldn't she see how well it was working? Hadn't she spanked me as a child? But more importantly, didn't she know that the Bible commands it? I went to the Bible to copy down all the "rod" verses in Proverbs. I knew that would prove to her that I was following God's command. But in trying to prove my mother wrong I found instead God turning my heart around.
Rethinking the Rod
As I worked to construct my defense of spanking, I flipped through my copy of The Discipline Book (Little Brown & Co.) by Dr. William Sears to see what this Christian pediatrician had to say about spanking. I was stunned to find his suggestion that the "rod" in Proverbs refers to an idea of authority rather than a literal rod.
As I thought about this point, God brought to my mind Moses, who used his rod to demonstrate God's authority to the people. He used it to bring forth water from a rock (Ex. 17:5-6), to part the Red Sea (Ex. 14:16), and to show the power of God by changing the rod into a snake and back again (Ex. 4:1-5; 7:8-12). The rod was a sign of God's authority over his children; the same kind of authority God gives us over our own children.
Jesus also makes reference to the rod as a symbol of authority when he reveals himself to John. "To him who overcomes, and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations—'He will rule over them with an iron scepter (The King James Version says "rod of iron"), he will dash them to pieces like pottery'—just as I have received authority from my father" (Rev. 2:26-27).
Originally published in: Christian Parenting Today, Page 50
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TealRose
Thank you for this beautiful article - My children are grown into adults now, and I have grandchildren. I was spanked and just let's say it destroyed my relationship with my parents. As far as spanking being 'Biblical' - I can honestly say that I never imagined that people, especially Christians, actually thought for one minute that the 'rod' was meant to be used on children, or that spanking should be in used in it's place. My church never ever told us to spank or hit children, in fact quite the opposite teaching us that children are special in God's eyes and how we should be gentle with them! I never felt that I could teach and a child and raise him or her up and spank - because that to me was against Jesus' words to us and because it seemed so hypocritical to spank a child when adults tell them all the time not to hit, and that their hands are for 'loving not hitting'. I too wanted my child to understand and not just be frightened of being spanked.
TresMom
This is just what I needed to read. I am a first time mom and my son is only 13 months old but this is a subject that I know I will have to decide. My husband and I were both spanked and we turned out fine but I just wonder would my parents have gotten the same result without spanking. I love my parents and I have never been in trouble with the law, I am a Christian and I just want to raise my son in the right way. I want to teach him to be a good person and do the right thing because it is the right thing.
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