Party Pooper!
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[0 Comment]My friends are playing "can you top this?" when it comes to their children's birthday parties. I'm all for giving my seven-year-old daughter a fun time, but I feel cheap because we're not renting a clown, having a bouncy house, etc. Am I out of step with the times?
Yes, you are—but that's not necessarily a bad thing! Consider this an opportunity to talk to your daughter about how it's actually more important to be a God-pleaser than a man-pleaser. Be straight with her if you can't afford a big party. Even if you can, explain to her you don't feel spending that kind of money is being a good steward of your God-given resources.
At the same time, birthday parties are part of the fun of being a kid—and of being a mom! The good news is, it's possible to create wonderful memories for your seven-year-old without breaking the bank or succumbing to parental peer pressure.
When my children were young, we always had a theme birthday party. One year our daughter Haven had an "Upside-down" sleepover. The girls ate donuts and cereal for dinner and pizza for breakfast. I bought a cake from the grocery store, turned it upside-down, and put the candles on the bottom. Another year, I threw our daughter Clancy a "Baby Doll Shower" for her birthday. We served punch in bottles, played games blindfolded while eating baby food, and held diaper-changing relays. Our son, Tucker, once had a "Pirate Party" where the boys had swordfights with super-long breadsticks and followed a treasure map to find "buried" chocolate coins.
None of these parties cost much, but my children still talk about how much fun they had. Who wants to keep in step with the world when you can walk alongside our Creator, be a cool parent, and be a wise steward all at the same time?
Divided Holidays
My husband and I recently divorced, and my children, 9 and 12, are acting out their hurt by being "lippy." Now they have to split their time between their dad and me during the holidays, and I know that will be especially tough. Help!
I don't know if this makes you feel better, but your 9- and 12-year-old probably would be "lippy" under the best of circumstances in these confusing adolescent years. So there's no need to lump all these surfacing attitudes into the "because of the divorce" category.
Be compassionate with your kids, but don't let disrespect creep in unchecked. Your children need to know now, more than ever, that they're safe in the protection of a parent who expects and deserves respect. Perhaps when they respond to you insolently, you can pull them aside, draw them close, and explain, "I can't allow you to talk to me like that or in that tone of voice, but I really do want to know what's going on. Want to talk about it?"
The more opportunities they have to express their feelings openly, the less need there'll be for them to vent through "lippiness." They may find it easier to talk to someone else. Is there a pastor, youth leader, grandparent, or family friend who can spend time with them regularly for a few months to cultivate a safe atmosphere in which they can express some of their hurt and confusion?
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2005, November/December, Vol. 27, Issue 6, Page 22
Related Topics:
Competition, Creativity, Disrespect, Divorce, Parties, Talking Back, Teenage Dating, unequally yoked
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