Giving Gifts of Truth
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At the cemetery by his little grave I watched the sunflower pinwheel spin in the warm May wind. "I didn't expect life to be this tough," I whispered to my husband, David.
He nodded, sniffed back a few tears and went to tell the children it was time to go home.
I watched him head toward the grassy lawn where our three children were happily playing and pondered how in the world this difficult life had become ours. I said my prayers, I ate my vegetables, I was kind most of the time, and I had a strong faith and love for God. I was even the daughter of missionaries! What went wrong? How had I come to spend Saturdays at a cemetery by a marker that read "Our Darling Boy?" How could my energetic four-year-old boy's earthly body be laid to rest under this hard ground?
Loss of Innocence
From my view over the pinwheel I saw my seven-year-old Rachel do a cartwheel as David, two-year-old Benjamin, and one-year-old Elizabeth clapped. Although she looked normal, there was a time I felt Rachel's chances of having a normal life were shot. When she was five she'd seen her brother treated for a malignant tumor with powerful chemotherapy, throw up countless times, scream as he got shots to increase his white blood cell counts, and on a cold winter day lie motionless in a bed in the ICU because a staph infection had destroyed his brain and weak body.
Then she'd seen our tears, our struggles, and our faith shaken over the course of the 15 months since her brother Daniel's absence from our family. She'd lost the innocence that comes with being a child, the "pseudo-security" that Mommy and Daddy can keep the bad away and make everything all right.
My childhood was easy, I remembered. I could hold to a faith that God protected those he loves, that prayers make a difference. I didn't experience the kind of pain and sorrow of losing a sibling. For the most part, I'd been carefree. It isn't that I was sheltered from the world's difficulties, it was just that I believed the myth that the really bad wouldn't touch me.
I find it amusing that one of Jesus' promises to his disciples is that in this world we will have troubles (John 16:33). But how often do we tell our children about this verse and truly explain that there are tragedies in life and being a Christian won't prevent us from experiencing them?
We teach about adversities, but only when the Bible stories hold happy endings. We like it because Hannah prayed for a baby and she conceived. Daniel was thrown into the lion's den but was delivered. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown into a fiery furnace but came out without a hair singed or even smelling like smoke.
Teaching Our Children
It's important that we teach our children not only about the victories of people like Noah and David mentioned in Hebrews 11, but also about those mentioned in the last paragraph of that chapter who, although faithful to God, for some unknown reason, suffered.
Related Topics:
Biblical Guidance, Death, Grief, Heaven, Perspective, Trouble
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Average User Rating:
Rhonda S.
Thank you for this story. It brings back memories of my brother (who was 43 years old at the time of his unexpected death). Live life like it's golden.... From NC, Rhonda
Alice J. Wisler
Dear Kayla, I had lunch with my daughter Rachel the other day (she was six when Daniel died, now she's 20) and as we spoke of Daniel, her comment to me was, "How did we ever live through that time?" She has her brother's initials tattooed on her back---he is always in her mind, a part of her that will never be forgotten. Thank you, Kayla, for your comment. Kyle will always be your brother and will be missed and loved. Always. ~ Alice
Kayla Watts
As the sister of Kyle, a young, handsome son, brother, grandson, who left this world when I was only two and one half years old, I applaud Alice for recognizing that Daniel's passing has forever altered not only her life, but the lives of her children. So often we look to the future, we wait for "watermelon season", but we are not promised another sunrise or sunset and savoring each drop of life is a gift without comparison!
Alice J. Wisler
Thank you, Pam! Thinking of you as you honor Paula's life. Thank you for remembering my watermelon boy. ~ Your NC friend, Alice
Pam Bennett-Santoro
always so well written. Great job there Alice! Heading to Relay for Life here in Morristown on Friday, June 3, will be sure to light a luminaria for both Paula and Daniel. Your NJ friend, Pam
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