A Smoother Move
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[0 Comment]I placed the last purple hyacinth bulb in the six-inch-deep hole in front of our new Tennessee home, patting down the dark earth over the flower bed. "This is one way to put down some roots here," I thought. Only a few months before, my Midwestern family had moved across three statesand the Mason-Dixon lineso my husband could pursue a new career. Oatmeal had changed to grits, pop music to country and western.
Our family was not alone. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, every year more than 40 million Americans pack up their belongings to move across town or across the country. If you are among this number, take heart! By preparing ahead for the changes to come, you can help your family adjust to life in a new location.
It helps to keep in mind the benefits of moving. One bonus is the chance to teach your children important life skills, such as coping with change. Susan Miller, author of After the Boxes Are Unpacked (Focus on the Family), says parents need to decide in advance how they will model their response to the move for their children.
"When my husband, Bill, told us we were making a corporate move from Atlanta to Phoenix, I did not want to move," Miller said. "I didn't know anything about Phoenix and didn't care!"
In choosing how to communicate her feelings to her children, she decided to be honest, but to phrase things in a way that was appropriate.
"I told them, 'Hey, Dad has a new job in Phoenix,' " Miller remembers. "We are going to hold hands, stick together.
It will be hard in some ways, but we will look for new ways to broaden our horizons."
Clinical psychologist Todd Cartmell, author of The Parent Lifesaver (Baker), recommends showing your kids that moving is an adventure.
"Explain the reasons for the move," he says.
"Be honest, yet communicate optimism. This can be a real bonding time for you and your family."
No matter how short a distance you move, the change will create some disruption. Preschoolers, elementary-age children and young teens will all experience a range of emotions, from happy anticipation to deep feelings of loss and grief. Here are ways to meet their needs.
Originally published in: Christian Parenting Today, Page 22
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