Going Public

9 ways to help your child survive—and thrive—in the public-school setting.

Shelley L. Houston

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The telephone rang. It was my son's school librarian.

"Mrs. Houston, I hear you had a problem with one of our library books," she stated.

I gripped the phone, shot up a prayer for wisdom, then replied evenly, "I'm concerned with the content of one of the books—the one about werewolves."

"Have you read the book?" she queried.

Some of my sweetest prayer times were over my children's education.

"Yes, I have. Have you?" I asked carefully. "It describes the crunching sound of a baby's skull while the wolf eats him, and gives detailed instructions on how to sell your soul to the devil."

"Well, I haven't read that particular book," she replied. "But the ones I've read in the same series are harmless fun and encourage older children to read books."

"I want to encourage children to read as well," I assured her. "But I believe this book's inappropriate. Actually, when I heard your voice, I thought the principal had talked to you because I met with her this morning."

"What did the principal say?" she asked with interest.

"I explained my concerns, and she told me she'll read the book and get back to me."

The above encounter took place during our family's 19-year journey in the public-school system in Eugene, Oregon. When we moved to Eugene in 1983, we enrolled the eldest of our three children in the first grade there. Many school districts nationwide provide an excellent, balanced education, but the city of Eugene—and its public-school system—are heavily influenced by its liberal university culture and prominent homosexual community. But as new Christians, we were eager to live as "light to the world."

A few days after my conversation with the librarian, our school principal informed me that she'd decided to recommend the series be removed from the district. While this situation had a happy ending, not every conflict we encountered was so neatly resolved. However, I realized shortly after this incident that effectively raising my children in the Lord in the public schools would require some finesse and real work. Here are nine things I learned about doing it well:

1. Get a handle on what's happening

Thoroughly digest any letter sent home, write dates from the school newsletter on your calendar, and search the school's website. Attend at least one sports event and a school play, even if your child's not in them.

2. Give accolades when due

The headline for Time magazine's February 21, 2005 lead article was, "What Teachers Hate About Parents." The article described parents who always look for something wrong. It's important for your praises to outnumber your criticisms ten to one.

While volunteering in a class, I watched one teacher's technique with real interest and gave her frequent praise. Then, when she suggested once that our family was too "moralistic" because we expected our son not to use foul language on the playground, it was easy to kindly assert that our opinion about such behavior be respected.

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Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2005, September/October, Vol. 27, Issue 5, Page 58

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