Do You $pend Too Much on Your Kids?
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[0 Comment]The Gap. Walt Disney World. Sony PlayStations. A Dodge Grand Caravan.
Everywhere we turn, the consumer culture invites us to spend more moneyon ourselves and on our kids. And, according to Harvard sociologist Juliet Schor, author of a widely acclaimed study, The Overspent American, many of us are succumbing to the temptation.
Americans spend more and save less than anyone else in the world, she says; yet "half the population of the richest country in the world say they cannot afford everything they really need. And it's not just the poorer half."
How can parents curb the "gimmes" in their children? How can families learn to keep materialism in perspective, even in the face of relentless cultural pressures? Schor, herself the mother of two, ages 3 and 7, shared some thoughts with Christian Parenting Today.
It seems that kids are more aware of what they wear and buy these days, and at an ever-younger age. How did that come about?
Anecdotal evidence has kids ages 3 and 4 being more aware of brand names. The main reason is because advertisers are targeting younger and younger kids.
How young?
Well, Teletubbies are aimed at 1-year-olds, and they're on "educational" TV, which parents generally think of as safe. But there's a lot of selling that goes on there.
Your research shows that people no longer compare themselves to the family next door, but to some affluent TV family or the guy at work who's making six figures. How does that mentality affect a parent's spending on her kids?
There are two dynamics at work, one adult-driven, the other child-responsive. Adults who are driven by this upscaling of desires want the right designer clothes, lessons, even strollers, so they extend these desires to their kids, whether the children have expressed these wants or not. Then there's the other dynamic of kids who come to their parents and say, "I want this, I want that."
Let's say a family lives in an affluent community, but they're at the low end of the economic scale. Their kids' friends all have more and do more. How can those parents cope?
The family will likely spend more to keep up with the community's standards. Sometimes people with high levels of education but moderate meansacademics, for instancewill move into an area because it has good schools. But they're less affluent, so they face a crunch. The same thing can happen if they send their kids to a private school: everyone else there is better off than they are. It's very difficult.
Interestingly, some research has found that a wealthy person who lives among those who are less well-off will actually spend less.
Should parents set spending limits on birthday or Christmas gifts?
Parents should avoid saying things like "give me your Christmas list." That feeds into the overconsumption mentality. It's important to try to get at your child's real desires. Also, young kids are overwhelmed by too many things. Gifts become meaningless.
Originally published in: Christian Parenting Today, Page 42
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