Cutting Edge
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Forty-one percent: That's how many respondents to our recent online poll at www.todayschristianwoman.com said they've either known someone who self-mutilates, did so at some point in their life, or have a child who has been a cutter. While the results of our poll aren't scientific, they do demonstrate a chilling trend. For a closer look at the problem of teen self-mutilation, read on. —The Editors
She lingered behind the others, waiting to speak to me after my workshop at a Christian parenting conference.
"My daughter's hurting herself," the woman whispered, her eyes brimming with tears. "I don't know what to do."
She'd discovered faded marks on her daughter's arms a few days earlier. When she inquired about the scars, her daughter made an excuse. But later, when the mother passed her daughter's half-opened bedroom door and caught her changing, she spotted fresh cuts running up and down her child's legs. When she confronted her daughter, she was stunned to discover additional self-inflicted cuts to her daughter's torso.
"I've asked myself a hundred times what I did wrong," the woman told me. "My daughter's 15. She's bright. She has friends. I didn't know anyone did this … "
A Troubling Trend
This behavior has many names: cutting, self-injury, self-mutilation, self-violence. It includes not only cutting but also scratching, picking scabs, burning, punching, bruising or breaking bones, or pulling out hair. Though death isn't the goal of this deliberate, repetitive harm to one's body, it can cause scarring, infection, and even fatality if a cut goes too deep or an infection isn't treated.
Self-injury crosses economic brackets, education, race, gender, and age. But the majority of those involved are middle- to upper-class adolescent girls. Exact statistics are hard to pinpoint because the behavior often is hidden. But one thing's clear: The growing trend of self-injury isn't confined to teens outside the church. As a youth worker, I've connected with Christian teens for more than 15 years. Until two years ago, self-injury was rarely mentioned. That's changed.
Recently I attended a basketball game with several Christian teens. When a player swished a three-pointer, we jumped to our feet to celebrate, and a girl in front of me threw her hands up in the air. That's when I saw the faded scars that ran down the length of one arm; two small cuts veered across the large vein on her hand. Without thinking, I placed my hand over the cuts, and she jerked down her sleeve.
"How long have you been cutting?" I asked quietly.
She sat next to me, slowly raised her sleeve, and revealed the path of emotional pain marked by razor blades. "I've never told anybody about this," she said. "I'm only talking to you because you didn't freak out. The last thing I want is for my Christian friends to think I'm evil or possessed. I love God with all my heart. But I feel so trapped."
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2006, January/February, Vol. 28, Issue 1, Page 38
Related Topics:
Cutting, Depression, Self-Injury, Self-Mutilation, Teenagers
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Eliza
Excellent, informative article, on a very important epidemic. Thank you for the critical list of resources as well. I hope to read more articles in the future, on this and other teen issues. Self-injury is a cry for help. The emotional pain is so great that the person would do anything for relief, albeit temporary and momentarily translated into physical pain, which seems more bearable. They want the emotional pain to stop. If help is not given to the troubled person, the pain may lead to suicide, which is prevalent among teens, and the 1st 2 years of college. There was a 15-yr.-old girl at my daughter's private school who cut herself with deep gashes while in school, using the sharp tip of a stretched-out paper clip (her teachers seem to know, but nothing was done for her; her friend told us years later). Explaining the Gospel and leading each person to salvation in Christ is key (not all who attend church are truly saved). Then, once saved & indwelled by the Holy Spirit, Scriptures (about who we are in Christ) written out & affirmed audibly daily will help supernaturally renew the mind through God's Word. Sharing & praying daily with a supportive adult is powerful & healing, too. Pain expressed is pain released.
Magda
Great article. I feel that the most important thing to do is to realize how important the emotional needs of a person is. Failing in this area can damage a person very deep. Thank be to the unconditional love of God that once a person is aware of this can help them to find healing. So I feel that parents must take time for their children and if they don't have time wait and don't have children.And if they have children realize that the age from 0-5 is important to work on a healthy and stable emotional life of a person. So put your child as a priority during this period. IT IS OF MOST VALUE.
N.
Thanks for this article. And I'm sure you know that adults are not immune either. After years of struggling with bulimia, I recovered only to take up nail biting and skin picking. Also, I know a woman who cuts herself. I believe mne is caused by chemical imbalance because medications do help. Hers stems from childhood issues.
Kat
One thing I've found is that hurting yourself is often viewed as a sinful behavior because it is an action against God's creation. My mother once (incorrectly, that time) thought that I was hurting myself - I was kind of tugging on my hair, but not so that it hurt. She proceeded to give me a long lecture on the sinfulness of my behavior. Little did she know that at that time I was frequently scratching and bruising myself and would later turn to cutting (among other methods). Many Christians see self-injury this way - as a sin and not a last resort.
Cassidy
I thought the article was informative and hopeful; hopeful for those cutting and for those knowing a cutter. Also to realize that just because we are Christians, or our kids are Christians, we are not exempt from the same troubles, temptations, and trials non-Christians go through. We need to be aware that God's love is for all under the sun and His mercy is from everlasting to everlasting.
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