'A Conspicuous Family'
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[0 Comment]The Marcelo Family
Phil Age: 35
Magazine designer
Karen Age: 43
Medical executive
Nathan Age: 3
Maggie Age: 16 months
Married: 6 years
Hometown: Geneva, IL
CPT: Your family represents a lot of different races.
Phil: We do! I'm Filipino, Karen is Danish, Nathan is Danish-Filipino, and Maggie is African American. At Christmas our tree holds decorations from both Denmark and the Philippines, and we're going to incorporate more African-American elements to honor Maggie's culture in the future. It's a unique and beautiful mixture.
CPT: Do you make an effort to celebrate the different cultures?
Phil: We read to each of our children and have expanded our library to include books that represent a number of different ethnicities, showing differences but also showing similarities. We've included books about adoption and how there are different kinds of families. As they get older, our goal is to expose them to a number of different cultures, not just Filipino, Danish, or African American. They're learning Spanish through daycare and school. We hope to integrate that as a second language for the children, and as a third language for Karen (who speaks Danish) and me (I speak Tagalog).
CPT: What motivated you guys to adopt your daughter? Have you always wanted to or was that a newer decision?
Phil: We were sitting side by side in church before the service began, both flipping through the bulletin and, simultaneously, came across a pink sheet of paper stating, "WANTED: Loving Homes for Children." It was an insert announcing an adoption information meeting at a local church scheduled for the following Thursday night. We'd begun going through fertility treatments and had miscarried a couple times. We both looked at each other and whispered, "We've got to go to this!"
On that Thursday, the program began with a troupe that danced to the music "Testify to Love" by Wynonna. That was one of the songs we'd chosen for our wedding, and we hadn't heard it since. We felt as though God was telling us, Sit up and take notice! This is for you.
We listened intently to all the presentations given that night but connected with a woman representing the Ardythe and Gayle Sayers Center of African-American Adoption at The Cradle. We spoke with her after the program, she gave us her card, and we contacted her shortly thereafter.
Thus began the decision to adopt transracially. We decided at that point that even if we were to have children through fertility treatment, we would adopt a child. We felt called to do so.
CPT: Had you already started the adoption process when you found out you were pregnant with Nathan?
Phil: The Cradle's policy is that a couple going through fertility treatments should wait until after they're finished to proceed with the adoption process. Nathan was conceived during what we decided would be our last cycle of treatment. Once we found out we were expecting, we contacted the adoption agency to let them know that we were ready to at least get the paperwork underway. We knew that it might take a while for processing and for a birth mother to be matched with us so we thought that we should prepare as soon as possible. Once Nathan was born, we contacted the agency again to let them know he'd arrived. Our counselor congratulated us, but clarified their policy that the current youngest sibling in the family needed to be at least one year old. We waited until Nathan was 11 months and contacted them again. Sensing how eager we were to move ahead, they let us start the adoption process without any other delays.
Originally published in: Christian Parenting Today, Page 34
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