Raising Thankful Kids
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[0 Comment]Usually the picture of serenity, Maria stomped into our Moms in Touch prayer group. "I hate my children," she stormed. "They're so ungrateful!"
Her anger startled us, but we could empathize with her feelings. At times I am appalled at how much my children receive and how little they truly appreciate. Gratitude is in short supply today, even in loving, Christian families.
If I could guarantee a few things that my children would carry into adulthood, one would be a grateful heart. Gratitude is essential to a deep, maturing faith in God because it defines who we are, who God is and what we expect of life. It's the "tail of the kite" to a life that soars with God.
Satan knows this, which explains why he tries to divert our attention away from all that God has given us. Instead, he wants us to focus on all the things we think we lack (see Gen. 3:1-7). Focusing on what we lack is the root of ungratefulness.
In contrast, focusing on what we have received from God brings not only gratitude, but also lasting happiness. It increases our faith in God and our overall sense of well-being. Who wouldn't want these benefits for their children?
But I'm discovering that instilling thankfulness in our children is a long-term project. Obviously my family isn't finished yet, but we've stumbled onto ten key principles that have made a big difference.
1. Practice what you preach
As with everything else in life, kids learn best by example. Often I realize I've missed an opportunity to express and model gratitude. I'm trying to make this a higher prioritypromptly writing thank-you notes, reciprocating a favor. When I get too busy for thoughtful gestures, then I know I'm too busy.
2. Give your kids less
This is probably the most effective way to get our children to appreciate more. Two years ago my family moved to Hong Kong for my husband's work. We live in an apartment that has limited living and storage space. Hong Kong is also the most expensive city in the world. As a result, our buying habits are now based on need, with few luxuries.
To my surprise and delight, we all like living with less. The children appreciate their possessions more, and there is less clutter. My 15-year-old has become a savvy consumer. She is cautious with new purchases and takes extremely good care of her possessionseven ironing her jeans. (She insists they look new when ironed.)
Even if you can afford it, don't buy gifts habitually for your kids. It may make you feel generous, but children quickly feel entitled to treats and start expecting them.
3. Get a new perspective
Encounters with those who have less can sensitize your child to some of the pain and suffering in the world. It also helps kids realize how fortunate they are.
Each summer the Marquardt family of Lutherville, Maryland, looks for opportunities for their daughters to help on a mission project. "It doesn't have to be in a Third World country," says Lisa Marquardt. "Our church has youth programs that help inner-city or low-income families. Both girls have benefited tremendously by participating in these missions."
Originally published in: Christian Parenting Today, Page 18
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