High Hopes for High School

What you need to help your child succeed

By Kay Harms

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Remember high-school football games, pep rallies, yearbooks, and proms? What about finals, term papers, and college entrance exams? You may have gotten your driver's license, gone on your first date, worked summer jobs, and maybe even bought your first car during these same years. Looking back on the eventful years of high school, I'm glad I was young enough to handle all those changes and challenges at the time!

This fall my oldest son begins high school, and I'm nervous. While he's not especially worried about this transition, I'm concerned about heightened academic expectations, added peer pressure, an increased sense of competition, and hormones bouncing off the walls.

While teens may act like—and even say—they don't want their parents to be involved, they really do.

What's a first-time parent of a high- school student to do? It was hard enough depositing my child in that brightly decorated kindergarten room where a cherubic teacher read him stories, gave him cookies, and tied his shoes. Now I must contend with teachers who instruct more than 100 students, coaches who defend district titles, counselors who encourage college-prep courses, and upper classmen who look like grown men and women.

Before I let my imagination carry me too deep into the pit of anxiety, I decided to ask a few trusted experts for advice. I spoke to high-school administrators, counselors, and teachers who shared steps to help my student transition smoothly into high school and succeed during his years there. I also talked with parents who gave me perspective, wise counsel, and encouragement.

Put Fears in Perspective

According to principal Tommy Wallis, high school is indeed a huge transition. "High school is nothing like middle school," says Wallis. "You should prepare for some major adjustments, academically and socially."

Still, as a parent you can help minimize the "monsters in the closet" for your teen. Your student may be concerned about a host of normal fears, such as getting lost or being bullied by older students. He also may have heard stories about difficult teachers, unfair restrictions, tough classes, or extreme punishments. You can put most of these fears in perspective with some open dialogue with your child, but many schools provide orientation events that also help settle some butterflies.

Steps to Emotional Success

Visit the school with your student. If your school doesn't offer a freshman orientation for students and parents, make an appointment for a meeting with an administrator or counselor and a private tour.
Get the "low down" from a respected veteran high-school student. I invited a high-school junior, who seems to be enjoying school and making good grades, and her family to join us for lunch after church. In the course of natural conversation, we learned a wealth of information about teachers, courses, the band, and school clubs from a reliable and enthusiastic source.

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Originally published in: Christian Parenting Today, Page 42

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