The Good Life
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As a young wife, I often see pictures of others' elaborate weddings and exotic honeymoons, but I reminisce about a cement-walled hallway. I hear people talk about being blessed with great children, and I have none. I listen to stories of romantic evenings watching sunsets and mornings with breakfast in bed, while I dream of an extra kiss stolen in secret. I see couples who own big houses and expensive cars; I do well to live paycheck to paycheck. How can I possibly have a good life when I lack so much that other young wives have? Does life have a silver lining when your husband is locked in prison, serving a life sentence for the murder of his drug dealer?
If you let it, joy can slip through your grasp in the twinkling of an eye, especially when your life goes down a path exactly opposite the one you expected and planned for yourself. When I was a girl I dreamed of a handsome prince, a stellar job, and model children. I just knew I would have that "good life" so many others have talked about and longed for. Little did I know I would end up with a great life without so much of what people traditionally think the good life requires.
When I was 20, I moved to Florida to work as a youth leader for the summer, living with a man and wife whose children were both grown and out of the house, the son making his home in a prison cell. At the time my thoughts and energy were consumed with leading the youth ministry, but something tugged at my heart with every mention of my host family's son, David. I began writing to this man in prison after my hostess, his mother, told me how much he loved to receive mail. As a college student away from home myself, I understood the sheer exhilaration of opening the mailbox to find any kind of written connection to home. Plus, the Bible says we are to remember and reach out to prisoners, so why not?
I hesitate to say it was love at first word, but we felt an immediate connection, a bond that differed from anything either of us had ever felt. I knew there was something special about this man when he taught me to see society's outcasts as the true children of God they are.
David became a Christian at an early age but ignored the nudging of the Holy Spirit and found himself consumed by a life of illegal drugs and violence, inevitably resulting in a horrible altercation where another man lost his life. God, in perfect balance of justice and mercy, allowed David to go to prison in order to save his life, and there he began the process of spiritual healing.
Through David's words I recognized him as a son, a father, and a child of God instead of a crime and a state sentence. Our letters turned into phone calls, and those advanced to our first face-to-face visitation. Nine months after our first phone call I got my first taste of prison and the life God was calling me to live. I knew I loved David when I could say in all honesty I wished it was me locked up for life instead of him. I would have traded my life and my freedom for him to have his, and that's when I learned the true meaning of unconditional love.
Related Topics:
Crime, faith, testing of;, God, Listening to, God's Will, Hearing God's voice, Marriage, Deciding on
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Patty Gonzalez
I have the pleasure of knowing Holly, though not for long but I could feel the Lord's grace and sweet spirit from just her emails. I feel sorry for those people who can't see past a storybook "happily ever after" because sometimes that just isn't how life turns out. The real deal is to look to the One who will make a way where there is none. I have a 26 year old son who has Autism, was this the life we wanted for him? No, but throughout his life God has given us so many blessings that I am positive we wouldn't have known if he wasn't exactly like he is. We need to remember that the Lord's ways are not ours, Holly is a grounded, smart, intuitive woman, who I know, even after our short acquaintance does not make light, impulsive decisions. I am blessed that God put our paths together and I pray that we can stay in touch after our association is done. God Bless you and David. You definitely have a prayer partner in me. I believe in miracles, let's keep the faith together!
ma of 2
Honestly what are we supposed to learn from this story? How is it a marriage when you have noone to come home to for the rest of your life? Does this guy had other options or he just settled for the writer coz she was the only one "available". I have great respect for the writer to tell her story but for it to be published like this......am still searching for the motive. I would have appreciated it if the story was written by someone whose spouse was jailed after they had married. Make no mistake i am not saying those behind the bars should not be seen as God's children, but let's not make wrong decisions in the name of "it was God's will".
Jerry Sinclair, Marriage Missionary
I too am DISAPPOINTED by the decision to print this article. It does nothing for me or other readers. It does endorse and enable people to make wrong decisions outside of God's perfect will and then claim it was good and acceptable. I too made some serious sinful choices of which I have documented in this and other publications. However, I admitted my choices were against God's will and plan for my life. I felt useless before a Holy God and I did not expect him to show favor to me, a habitual s8xual sinner. I did chose to repent from my wicked ways and humbly walk this earth with Christ as my Savior and my advocate. In everything, I give thanks to God for allowing me a second chance. I hope the author and her husband get a (first or second)chance at life. Also, I hope they try not to make another wrong (divorce) when things go wrong, by correcting the first error which was uniting with a man who may not be in full accord with the author or God's Word.
Anonymous
Holly - regardless who agrees or disagrees with your decisions, you should be commended for your bravery in writing this article. I wish you the best.
Tito
What can I say. You probably lacked good counsel. I dont mean to discourage or confuse you. May God help you.
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