Slump-Busting

Even when you're both at a spiritual standstill, you can help each other reignite your passion for God

Jim Killam

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My name is Jim, and I'm in a slump. ("Hi, Jim.") It's been two weeks since my last heartfelt prayer—not counting "Lord, help me with this presentation at work" and "Please, God, keep us all safe today." It's been even longer since I spent meaningful time reading my Bible. Oh, it's right there on the table, within arm's reach. I agree with everything that's in there. It's just that … well, I'm tired, I'm distracted, I'm not motivated.

More times than I care to admit, this Slumpers Anonymous speech isn't far from the truth. And, be honest: you probably could have attended a few meetings yourself. For whatever reason, you've had the spiritual blues.

Fortunately, marriage can be the ideal spiritual-slump remedy, because usually only one partner is in the slump. The other can be the encourager—you know, "iron sharpens iron." But what do you do when you both careen into the same roadblock? What do you do when neither of you much feels like picking yourself up, let alone your spouse? And when you do finally give a half-hearted effort, everything you try just seems to make things more uncomfortable between you. Meanwhile, you both drift farther from God.

Spiritual Slump Blues

Dean and Mary Ann know how it feels to hit a spiritual wall. Early in their marriage, they tried unsuccessfully to have children. During those years of increasing frustration, their church split, painfully, over doctrinal issues. Rather than choosing sides, Dean and Mary Ann simply stopped going.

"We felt a little abandoned by God," Mary Ann admits. "We weren't necessarily leading sinful lives; we just weren't bearing fruit and growing."

Their situation points to one type of slump: disappointment with God that leads to a "what's the use?" attitude. In a second category, your spiritual life simply gets crowded out. You're going through some of the motions, attending church, praying together once in a while. It's not like you've junked your Christianity to become drug kingpins. But the fire has gone out. Through our own 13 years of marriage, my wife and I can trace some spiritual slumps to times of being overworked and/or discouraged about our circumstances.

If those don't describe your situation, consider category three: self-imposed distractions. That's not hitting a wall; it's building one. The usual suspects are too much TV, busyness that leaves us too tired to talk about spiritual matters and activities that consume our creative energy.

There's a fourth slump category, the most powerful of all. It's an unwillingness to let go of a particular sin. Sticking with the support-group theme here, I'll 'fess up. From time to time, my wife and I have watched movies that have no place in a Christian home. Not coincidentally, those were the times we felt little desire to spend time with God.

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Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 1998, Winter

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