The Secret to Balanced Living
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[0 Comment]"I'm not going to spend my Sunday afternoons swapping recipes with a bunch of women!"
Bill Patterson knew he was overweight, but when his wife, Angie, asked him to join a healthy-living group at their church, his reaction was decidedly less than positive.
"I had a bit of an outburst," laughs Bill, referring to his anti-"recipe-swapping" remark. "I thought I had the discipline to lose weight on my own; I didn't need a program. My attitude toward Angie was, 'You go to class. You learn to cook the food. I'll eat it.'"
In fact, weighing upwards of 300 pounds, Bill was self-conscious about his weight. Angie wanted to lose some extra pounds too. But the real challenges the couple faced went deeper than issues of calories and exercise.
"I was stuck in neutral," Bill admits. "I needed to fix my life, but I didn't know how. And the things I needed to fix weren't just physical."
Angie felt the same way. While weight gain was the immediate concern that brought her to a point of change, the increased pounds were symptomatic of a deeper dissatisfaction.
What Bill and Angie really needed was practical help in cultivating daily balance within their marriage. From the outside looking in, things seemed to be fine. The two were obviously in love. They were financially okay. They appeared to successfully juggle their busy schedules.
But in reality, Bill and Angie found it difficult to carve out a meaningful life together beyond the "hamster wheel" of their daily demands—especially in their faith.
"People looking at us would have thought things were going well," says Bill. "But spiritually, I was away from God. I never prayed, never read a Bible. I'd go to church with Angie on Sunday mornings, but that was the extent of it."
Angie recalls similar feelings. "My spiritual life was a little more indepth, but it was still inconsistent," she says. Bill and Angie found it hard to make a consistent commitment to any balanced system of nurture or growth within their marriage. Whether it was starting an exercise program or finding a few minutes together just to talk, nothing seemed to stick for long.
"I believe that for couples to grow and be a great team, they've got to share an outward focus and work together on something that's bigger than themselves," Bill explains. "We didn't have that."
"Hit or miss was the theme of that time," Angie says, remembering her frustration. "I finally just cried out to God for help."
Help arrives—disguised as a weight-loss program
Little did Bill and Angie know their key to finding a lasting sense of balance and direction in their lives would begin with their decision to lose weight.
Angie served on the women's council at her church. A Christ-centered health program called First Place, dedicated to encouraging a balanced lifestyle, was being considered as a new women's ministry.
Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2002, Fall
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