Fighting Words

On the brink of battle, an Old Testament king turned to God. Here are the surprising marriage lessons I learned from his prayer.

Donna Doornik

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I'm feeling battle weary," my friend Cindi told me the other day. "My husband and I are dealing with so many issues right now—family conflicts, health problems. I wake up every morning and just try to put one foot in front of the other."

I know that battle-weary feeling. Seventeen years of marriage have taken me—and my husband!—to our knees more times than we can count. A box of used prayer journals hides on the top shelf of my bedroom closet. Ragged-edged Scripture cards lie next to the phone. Sometimes I deal with so many struggles, I wonder if I'll exhaust my "grace quota" with God.

Sometimes life's troubles squeeze the joy from even the strongest marriages. Financial setbacks add up; the doctor reports grave news; even the incessant demands of children can overwhelm a couple.

I'd often wondered if the Bible offers any practical suggestions to pray through the challenges my husband and I faced. In all honesty, I looked often to the New Testament, but I've never been a strong student of the Old Testament. The stories of all those kings fighting one another always seemed irrelevant to my life.

So I was surprised when I discovered help for my marriage from an unlikely character in the book of : Jehoshaphat, king of Judah. While his battles were against enemy nations and the kings who led them, I found his approach helps my husband and me contend with the trials we meet in the 21st century.

Communal prayer is powerful

In 2 Chronicles 20, Jehoshaphat learns that an enemy army was ready to make war on Judah. This greatly alarmed the king, obviously. Fear is a normal reaction—whether you're a soldier or a secretary.

Jehoshaphat called everyone in Judah together to pray and fast for God's help. Jesus instructed us to do the same: "I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:19-20).

I know five couples who'll drop everything to pray for my husband and me when we ask them. These faithful friends include missionaries serving in places such as Ethiopia and Nepal. Even though we're separated by great distances, we can contact them instantly by e-mail. I'm certain they count it a privilege to pray for us, just as we do for them.

Likewise, exchanging prayer requests has been an important part of the small Bible study groups we've belonged to. Our faith has been strengthened as we've witnessed many answered prayers. Not only has this habit fostered deeper friendships, it's allowed us to minister to each other and to others in the group when a real need has arisen.

Couples who try to go it alone without the support of other Christians give up a source of encouragement and community God created for us.

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Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2004, Spring

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