I Want to Grow Old With You
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"Loyd, I don't need to take my cell phone, do I?" I slipped my purse strap onto my shoulder and looked at my phone in its charger.
"No, I have mine." He held it up.
"You won't leave me, right?" I smiled and poked his ribs.
"No way." He gathered me in his arms. "You took all the best of me, so come get the rest of me."
I buried my face in his chest and hugged him back. "Wow, that was good. Did you think of that? Are those words original?"
He held me at arms' length and hung his head. "No. They're words from a Bread song."
"Timely lyrics quoted very well." I took his hand, and we walked out of our room and into the snow. Through the magic of falling flakes, we made our way to a favorite restaurant to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary.
The next morning, the last day of our weeklong celebration in Tahoe, Loyd played that Bread song. With no warning, just after I got up, the music and lyrics filled the room. Loyd stood up, pulled me close, and started to dance.
I listened to the words as we moved around the room.
"You have taken the heart of me and left just a part of me.
Look, look, look what you've done.
Well, you took all the best of me, so come get the rest of me.
Look back. Finish what you've begun …"
Tears slipped down my cheeks and wet Loyd's chest. We are growing old together. When we married at 18 and 21 years of age, this was our desire. And now it's true; all these years later, we have taken the best of each other. Right from the beginning, we took each other's futures as we planned one together.
We took each other's youth. We went to college and worked to pay our tuition and bills, until we conceived our son at age 20 and Loyd had to get serious about supporting a family.
I took Loyd's energy as he left home early and returned late to earn our living. He took my idealism as I suffered bedridden through the pregnancy.
We took part of each other's souls when he coached me through childbirth and we held that baby between us. We took each other's individualism as we became a family.
He took my strength as I mothered his children and cared for our home. I took his power as I often failed to show him respect. He took my dreams when he failed to show me affection.
Our children grew up, we sent them to college, and they married. The years tumbled by. Along the way Loyd and I took each other's best thoughts, most encouraging words, and glowing moments of success. We each gathered the other into ourselves as tentacles of connection entwined our lives.
Now we are grandparents with some gray hair, and we've stored up a multitude of shared memories. Many of these memories are private. No one but the two of us has an inkling of all we've shared. By taking the best of each other, we've filled a treasure chest with intangibles, so growing old together has made us rich.
Related Topics:
Aging, Faithfulness, Marriage, Commitment to, Time
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Denise
Thank you for a beautiful article. I have been married for 18 years and counting. I love being married but it is hard work - I think someone once equalled it to training for and running a marathon. There is so much effort required but the reward is wonderful. It is a shame that in todays world the outlook is only for quick flick marraiges, but I do know there are a few who stay married for three or four decades and then quit the marraige and never find a fulfilling committed relationship ever. I believe the assumption that it is the partners/spouses responsibility to make the other person totally happy is at least part of the reason the divorce rate is so high. Do we kick our children to the kerb when they don't make us happy? - no we don't so it is a huge ask to place such a burden on our spouses/partners to fulfil this need =- truely God is the only one to fill that need. Also husband bashing - in words - happens constantly when wives get together and we all know that when we focus on the negatives we become more and more discontent with our situation which gives the excuse to act in whatever way we think/want to. It also demoralises our husbands in our friends eyes. I think we as females have a responsibility to build our husbands up in our families/friends eyes and honor and respect them and treat them with kindness. We all have irritating aspects of our personalities and should be aware of them not looking negatively on our husbands.
Ed
A great article. This should be required reading for couples who are going to get married. The article empowers me to make sure I do the same. Thanks.
Naomi
whao, this is really lovely, am a young wife of 7yrs and each time i look at the storms of life bellowing against my marriage, life, work etc, i always want to run away. Though i love my husband dearly but sometimes, its not just easy. Though i always think of growing old with my husband. Your article really encourages me and God will help me. Thanks a lot.
Anonymous
Congratulations on celebrating so many years of marriage. However, I feel as though your article is a little condescending towards young people today. You automatically assume that young people do not take marriage as seriously as you did, but you cite no data to back this up - just anecdotal evidence and your personal opinion. Yes, you may have witnessed some brides and grooms saying things before their weddings that indicate that they did not take marriage seriously, but these are extreme examples. And just because you did not witness it when you were a young adult does not mean that A) it did not happen, and B) people did not think these types of things instead of voicing them. I am not trying to criticize your article, but simply to point out that it is nothing new for older generations to look down upon the younger generations' lack of morals and reflect on how things were "better" in the past... when you were young, older generations were saying the same things about you.
Matty
This is so beautifully described. We just completed 20 years. And with the kids growing up, we just love the time we spent together at home, at prayer every morning, at work, at breakfast, lunch and dinner. I feel that praying together is keeping us through thick and thin.
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