Sex After Kids
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Ted Cunningham: Corynn's birth was one of the single most important days of our marriage and lives. She was born around 8:30 in the morning on August 4, 2003. My wife was a trooper. I knew she was a strong woman, but her stock shot way up in my book after watching her battle through labor for nine hours. There were no complications, and I was giving Corynn her first bath by nine-thirty.
During bath time Amy was tended to by the nursing staff and was moved from the birthing room to a regular room down the hall. The nurses on that first shift were amazing. Sweet and kind, they were over-the-top gracious in their care for Mommy, baby, and even Daddy.
The regular tests were performed on Corynn throughout the day, but other than that, she spent most of the day in the room with us greeting family and friends. As nighttime came around, we were greeted by the second shift of nurses. Again, they were sweet and over-the-top friendly. But there was one nurse I will never forget.
She was passionate about nursing and had been in the field for at least three decades. Eligible for retirement, she was the type to keep working another three decades. She was strong, to the point, and more blunt than anyone else I had ever met in the medical field. She had much to say to Amy and only one line to say to me.
To Amy she spoke like a coach calling plays, "Now, honey, you need to get some good rest tonight and let us take care of the baby. She'll be fine. You did great today, and you're going to recover, no problem. I'll check in on you throughout the night. You just press this button if you need anything. And I mean anything."
Then she turned to me and delivered one of the most shocking statements I have ever received: "And for you, there will be no sex going on in this room tonight."
What? No words came out of my mouth, but she could tell from my wide-eyed, jaw-dropped expression that I was floored.
So she continued, "Son, I have walked in on more guys making advances on their wives after childbirth, getting all fresh and wanting some. I break it up immediately."
I would not believe such a thing if I read it in a book, but this nurse was quite convincing. I had spent much of the day watching Amy struggle in pain from the bed to the sink and back to the bed and could not imagine making an advance. Also, I knew the rule was a six-week sexual Sabbath. The doctor hadn't instructed me yet, but I knew it was coming.
"Ma'am, I can promise you that it was not even in my mind," I assured her.
"Good," she said, "but I don't take anything for granted, and I give that warning to every young husband."
How sick does a person have to be to do something like that? Just her bringing it up to me made me feel dirty.
The next night the same nurse wheeled in a cart with a television and VCR and one instruction: "We need you to watch this shaken-baby-syndrome video before you leave the hospital tomorrow."
Related Topics:
Marriage, Difficulty in, parenting, sex
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Dee
Please don't take this as criticism,I just wish more articles included something other than the stereotype of the husband wants sex and the wife isn't interested. Because there are husbands who refuse to have sex or want something twisted instead of sex. And when a man doesn't want sex, what is the wife who wants to honor God supposed to do? I can say that after ten years of hearing "not tonight" I don't see sex in my future. I'm sick of what I look like being ridiculed, sick of being yelled at,or swore at for trying to even bring the subject up again. And I am tired of his online female "friends" consuming nearly all of his attention or finding his violent porn on the computer.
John B.
WOW WOW WOW. Maybe some of you Guys could relate to this happening to you. When my wife first brought me to church, my first thought was to sit by the back and when i heard something I didn't like fly out like a hawk. When the Pastor started talking it was like my wife told him my life story and the whole message was for me that day. Well that's what this feels like Bro you've read my mind, been there done that felt that kinda feeling. I've been blessed to have 14 years under my belt of marriage but sometimes with life's problems we go back to square one. Only with the Lords Mercy and love for us does he pick us up gently and get us back on track. thanks i thought I was the only one going through this. HaHaHaHa someone else has gone through this whata you know!!!!
Kristen
John, I have to respectfully disagree with you. Reading this article has brought a new light to the subject for me and I am thankful for the men that were strong enough to openly pen this. I will be sharing this article and my thoughts on it with my husband and I am very interested to hear his thoughts too! :-)
Mandy
After my son was born I had no sexual desire what so ever. It took a long 18 months for any sort of flicker to return, thank heavens for a patient husband! Hindsight being 20/20 one of the main problems was sheer exhaustion. Our lives had been turned not just upside down but stuck in a washing machine on a fast spin and rung through a mangle for good measure. We both worked a full day, came home to spend time time with the baby, cook and eat dinner, do some house work and fall exhausted into bed, rinse and repeat for every following day. Gradually routines were improved, baby need less continuous input and I finished breast feeding so my hormones retuend to normal and I began to feel like I owned me again instead of just existing. Of course every woman will deal with this in her own way and be ready to return to normal life at her own pace. In my experience until you begin to feel like yourself and like yourself again its really hard to focus on building the relationship with your partner again. My advice to women: Accept all help to regain some 'me time', pamper yourself, you are still a strong, beautiful powerful woman, things will get better! My advice to men: Give as much help as possible, be patient, dont push, & make her feel lovely, things will get better!
John
Gave this 1 star not because it is bad or inaccurate, its not, its spot on. Problem is, its written by men, and most women will not accept it at all. "Of course they say that, they are men.". Of course, if it was written by a woman, it would be, "I don't care, she's not me".
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