Wedding Wackiness

MP readers share their nuptial mishaps

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Must Be Time to Kiss

The preacher said to Todd, "You may kiss your bride." We looked into each other's eyes—so romantic! Todd lifted my veil, leaned in for the kiss, then BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Todd's watch alarm went off just as he kissed me.

Wendy P. Oberlander; Dayton, Ohio

Much Ado about Everything

The soloist got laryngitis, and the flower girl came down with pneumonia. The ring bearer had an accident in his blue-velvet pants just before the ceremony, and the mother-of-the-bride left her dress at home by mistake.

Still, we made it to the altar—despite the fact that it was Maryland's coldest day in 20 years. Things got even crazier after the ceremony. The borrowed 1941 Cadillac we were supposed to ride away in got stuck in the ice in the church parking lot, so I stuffed my gown into the back seat of a two-door compact car. The severe cold caused the water main at the reception hall to break, so the toilets only functioned because a continual bucket brigade came through the reception to flush them.

But that's not all. In the apartment just below the reception hall, the resident had gone out of town and left his oven on to keep his boa constrictor from getting cold. So we wrapped up our reception with the building on fire. Of course there was a blizzard on our honeymoon, which trapped us at the resort. But we figured if we survived our wedding, we could survive anything!

Melissa and Tim Donnelly; Statesville, North Carolina

Goochy-Goo!

Because my father died before I married, my mom walked me down the aisle and gave me away. Usually a dad turns over his daughter with a kiss on her cheek; my mom gave me away with a pinch on Sal's cheek.

Betsy and Sal Sicurella; Sloan, New York

A Glass of Romanowski

My husband-to-be and I planned carefully how both my pastor and his priest could officiate at our wedding. But the week before our wedding my pastor was called out of the country on a family emergency, and on the day of our wedding my husband's priest was called away to handle a church crisis. A priest from downtown Miami came as a replacement. Though he spoke little English, he seemed to have memorized the wedding ceremony. At the end of the service, he announced before our 400 guests, "I now pronounce you man and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Rum-and-whiskey!"

Tina Romanowski; Punta Gorda, Florida

Heidi Has to Go …

For flower girls, we selected the daughters of our officiating pastor. Soon after he'd started his message, Heidi, age 3, needed to go to the bathroom. Instead of telling her mom, though, she marched over to her dad and pulled on his pant leg. He asked the congregation to excuse him and bent down to listen to his daughter. Heidi let him know what she wanted—right into the microphone!

Melinda and David Hill; Ebeye, New Hampshire

What'd You Say?

On the night before our wedding, my husband-to-be stayed up late swimming with friends. On our wedding day, he could barely hear because he was having a problem with water in his ears. Then, I was so nervous I lost my voice! Only the ministers and the best man and matron of honor could hear our whispered vows. But I know this much: we both said "I do!"

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Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 1999, Summer

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