Why We Need Anniversaries
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[2 Comments]Years ago our family gathered around a large, circular table in an elegant restaurant, the place that has served as the backdrop for many of our most meaningful celebrations. For decades, our family has come here from around the country to mark holidays, birthdays, graduations, promotions and farewells. But this time was different. We were gathered to honor Les's parents on their 50th wedding anniversary.
The food, as always, was exquisite. The anniversary cake was lovely. The presents were nice, but not worthy of such a noble occasion. What impressed us most, however, wasn't the gifts, the food or the festivities. It was something my father said. We had just offered grace and thanked God for the family and the many years my parents had been together. Then before picking up his fork, Dad looked around the table and said: "I can't believe it has been 50 years! The time is so short!"
The rest of the meal was devoted to reminiscing. Mom talked about the times when each of her three sons was born. She could describe in detail the various homes we lived in. There was the first pastorate they took during the Korean War, and Dad's transition to being a college president during the Mid-East oil crisis. They reminisced about their first trip to London and many other journeys around the globe. They've had hard times, of course, but what they remember are the things they have enjoyed together.
My parents' celebration of 50 years together stands in marked contrast to our culture's obsession with time. We develop elaborate strategies to make the hours we spend at work more productive. We're conscientious about running errands on the way home to make more efficient use of our commuting time. We plan ahead to maximize the benefit of our leisure time. This compulsion might result in more things getting done, but it also underscores what we are missing. In our quest to maximize the value of time, we have forgotten how to treasure it.
By focusing too intently on making every minute count, we run the risk of squeezing the enjoyment out of the time we have together. Marriage doesn't operate on a 40-hour week; it's a daily, long-term, dawn-past-dusk partnership. That's one reason anniversaries are so important. They give us a chance, once a year, to take stock of where we've been, how we've gotten to this point, and where we're headed next as a couple.
What will your marriage look like in 50 years? Can you imagine your long-term future together? Proverbs 24:3-4 says: "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." After half a century, what memorable treasures will you find in your house of love?
My parents' anniversary got Leslie and me thinking about our own marriage. We have started marking time more carefully, taking the opportunity to reminisce about the good gifts we've enjoyed as a couple. Mom and Dad's major marriage milestone helped us mark our own progress. We were reminded that the memories we treasure tomorrow will be the ones we create today.
Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 1998, Spring
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Anonymous
We will celebrate our 17th anniversary September 24th. I am 60. My knight in shining armor is 42. We hit a huge bump in the road this year. I thought we might not even make it to our 17th anniversary. This article means so much to me that I am printing it out and going to ask my husband to read it while he waits to be invited in to the counselors office with me this evening. Suddenly I have renewed hope that we might even make it to the 50th. The idea of journaling this journey together is awesome! Thank You!
Bruce & Val
Hi Bruce & Val, Thought this article was good timing with our anniversaries coming up in August. Liked the thoughts about treasuring our time together, and making our spiritual commitment a priority! Love, Bruce & Linda
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