Mission Impossible
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"How about going to bed early tonight?" my husband, Rick, whispers in my ear.
I rinse the last supper dish and ask coyly, "What do you have in mind?"
"I want to carry you to bed and have my way with you," he says in a darn good Harrison Ford impression.
"I'll meet you in the bedroom as soon as the kids are in bed." With a wink of the eye and a wiggle of the hips, I saunter out of the kitchen … only to smash my toe on the doorjamb on the way. Actress Kate Capshaw helped Harrison Ford escape a doomed temple or something; I can barely make it out of my kitchen!
I hustle the kids through homework and baths. "Skip math tonight," I advise. "That's what computers are for. No, you don't need soap; just a quick rinse will do. I read somewhere that a little dirt protects you from ultraviolet rays. Pick out a bedtime story, a short one. Okay, Bambi. How about a condensed version: Bambi lives, his mother doesn't, he wins the fight, they all live happily ever after. Let's say our prayers. Hug, hug, kiss, kiss. I love you, too. And you. And you. And you. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night." I'm glad I have only four kids, I think.
Finally, the kids are tucked away and the lights are out. I head toward the boudoir, where I slip into something slinky. At least it used to slink. Now it kind of snugs. Oh well. I dab my best perfume behind my ears, turn off the lamp, and light some candles. With the comforter turned down invitingly, I arrange myself in a glamorous pose among the pillows. I ignore the Snoopy pillowcase beside me; my bed linens haven't matched since the Reagan era.
The door opens. In a throaty voice I say, "I've been waiting for you, big boy."
"I can't sleep," a tiny voice whimpers.
Whoops! "What's wrong, honey?" I ask as I scramble into my robe.
"My tummy hurts. And my head. Can I sleep in your room?"
"No." I take Michael's little hand and lead him back to bed.
"You smell good, Mommy."
"Thank you." I tuck the covers around him securely. Would it be child abuse to nail the blankets down so they sort of immobilize him? Only temporarily, of course.
"Why are there candles in your room, Mommy?"
"Because she and Daddy want to smooch," says Josh, with all the worldly wisdom of a 12-year-old boy.
"Good night." More hugs, more kisses.
Back in my bedroom, I shrug off the robe and climb back into bed. I settle against the pillows just as a yawn escapes my mouth.
"Mo-o-omm," someone calls from down the hall.
"What?!" I bellow.
"Josh's arm is hanging down."
I grab my robe and stomp to the boys' room. "What's wrong with his arm hanging down?" I demand.
"It's bugging me," says Jason.
I glare at Josh, who's lying calmly on his stomach in the top bunk with his arm dangling over the edge. "Why is your arm hanging down?"
"I want it to," he says.
"Well, don't." I turn to leave.
"Mommy, Mommy, I still can't sleep," Michael whines.
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2002, January/February, Vol. 24, Issue 1, Page 46
Related Topics:
Children, Marriage, Passion, sexual, Quality time
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Bukola
Well, I would rather look at the humorous side. Honestly, it left me with teary eyes and painful side, from the laughter! So much for romantic evenings!
kels
I'm going to have to agree with J. On this one... where is the husband when this wife is conqouring the nightly routine of a family? This story reinforces the roles set by society for women, and to be quite honest I'm insulted. I can understand finding time for romance together when a family is busy and much is going on, but that list that "cait" accomplished would have been done twice as fast if "harrison ford" even attempted to care about anything other than getting laid.
berlie
it really happens, and it's difficult to handle thus making our relationship suffers for a while. thank you for sharing.
J.
Um, was "Harrison Ford" sitting on the couch watching TV while "Cate" did the dishes, homework, baths, stories and mood-setting all by herself? The "mission" would be more possible, if the "adventure" of getting there was a shared experience. I don't think "Harrision" said to "Cate", "Let me know when you've defeated the bad guys, retrieved the artifact and saved the day. Here, you can use my whip. I'll be relaxing under a tree outside..." Just saying.... :)
Rachel
I really love this story. It is amazing how we struggle to find that time to be romantic when kids come in but that is the price we pay for the gifts of children. Thanks a lot for putting to word what we experience everyday.
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