Spirituality and Sex?
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[0 Comment]"Welcome to Atlanta!" Michael Sytsma, one of the Christian sex therapists I'd flown in to interview, greeted me at the airport, holding out a small, white paper bag.
"Thanks," I said, noticing that wrapped delicately within the folds of fire-engine red tissue paper was a white feather.
"That's for you and your husband," he continued.
Uh-oh, I thought, almost afraid to unveil the other contents. Let it just be chocolates. I had no idea what to expect. This was a sex therapist, after all.
Indeed, there were mini Hershey bars and heart-shaped goodies …. along with two tea lights, the feather, and five packets of lubricant gel. "I think you'll like the warming one. But the mango orange is nice, too," Michael told me nonchalantly. "There's even one that's sugar free."
"Whew, that's good, since I'm on the South Beach diet," I said, trying to sound just as casual, even though I was mentally wide-eyed. Right then I knew this would be no ordinary interview.
You never know what to expect when you get in a room with sex therapists. One thing is certain—you're going to talk about sex. But in the case of these four profound and deeply committed Christians, you're also going to talk a whole lot about God. Combine the two topics, and you get one fascinating dialogue.
In the mid-1990s Doug Rosenau, Michael Sytsma, Christopher McCluskey, and Debra Taylor—each working in private practice across the country—found one another. Realizing the need to stick together in a field that had few Christian sex therapists ("We could just about count them on two hands!" Debra says), they founded Sexual Wholeness, Inc. (SWI), a multi-functional organization devoted to training and certifying professional Christian therapists in the area of sexual healing.
One of their greatest passions has been to create a "theology of sexuality"—a biblical, practical, Christ- and Christian-honoring understanding of sex.
Now, more than a decade later, they've counseled or trained thousands of individuals and couples.
"There is no area of our being in which we can become more deeply wounded than our sexuality," explains Christopher McCluskey. "And within marriage, there's no area in which you can minister to a couple and bring greater healing and stability than in their shared sexuality. You'll impact both their intimacy together and their individual sense of wholeness as male and female, created in the image of God, reflecting Christ and his bride, the church. If you get a Christian couple on the same page with God's vision for marital intimacy, you'll have poured super glue over that marriage, and you'll have a beautiful picture of the relationship God desires to have with us."
After meeting the Sexual Wholeness professionals, I was overwhelmed by how fun they were. They're witty, smart, empathetic, and passionate about helping people discover God's unique and wonderful gift of sex. Not to mention they have some solid insights on how to have a great sex life. Here's what they shared with MP.
Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2007, Spring, Page 32
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