All the Right Moves
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My husband, Steve, and I recently completed beginning Salsa dance lessons.
Each Tuesday night, we headed for the dance studio with sweaty palms, moaning over our mutual ineptitude. But we kept at it.
We'd expected many things from the lessons—none of them good. But what we hadn't expected was the surprising refreshment they brought to our relationship. Here's what we learned about marriage from Salsa dancing.
Rule #1
The woman's always right!
Victoria, our saucy little instructor, first lined us up in front of the studio's mirrored wall. "OK, gentlemen!" she began. "You always start with your left foot. Ladies, you always start with your right. You can remember this because women are always right!"
I could have walked out of class right then and felt we'd gotten our money's worth. I'd been trying to explain this concept to Steve for 31 years!
Of course, there's an important caveat to this rule. A key element to "being right" is knowing when you're wrong. Once during a long-ago argument, Steve glared at me accusingly and said, "You can't ever admit you're wrong!"
His words stung sharply, but pride kept me from backing down. However, the truth of his accusation caused me to do some soul-searching. I knew pride was at the root of my stubbornness, so I finally asked God to turn my pride into an attitude of humility.
It was a difficult prayer to pray, and even more difficult to act on. But I began by going to Steve. "You were right about me never admitting to being wrong. I'm sorry, and I'm really going to make an effort to change."
The words "I'm sorry" didn't leave my throat easily. They still don't, even after years of practice. But I'm always right to admit when I'm wrong—and when I do so, my marriage moves more smoothly.
Rule #2
The man needs to lead.
During our second lesson, everyone became thoroughly confused about a new step. So Victoria stopped the music and patiently demonstrated it again. When she'd finished, she said, "I'm going to turn the music back on and we'll try it again. There's only one thing to remember. Can you tell me what that is?"
All 20 men immediately shouted in unison, "The men lead!" Ah-h-h! Now Steve felt like he'd gotten his money's worth.
This second rule of dance provided some amazing insights. While the men of our class understood the concept of leading, none of the women did. As a result, the men felt as though the women were resisting their lead when all we were trying to do was keep up. Victoria quickly recognized the root of the problem.
"Gentlemen!" she admonished. "You can't jerk your partner's arm over her head at the last moment and expect her to be able to twirl gracefully. It keeps her off balance. Gently lift her arm before you twirl her so she knows where you're taking her."
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 2006, March/April, Vol. 28, Issue 2, Page 30
Related Topics:
Dancing, Love in, Marriage, Marriage, Lessons, Marriage, Roles, Marriage, Teamwork in
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