"My Wife's Gynecologist Is A Man"
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[2 Comments]
Q. How should I handle a male doctor doing a pelvic exam on my wife? Do I have the authority as her husband to insist this be done by a female physician? I'm not accusing my wife of wrongdoing and I won't deny her medical attention. But is this exam really necessary on a routine basis? Wouldn't I know if something were changing inside my wife?
A. Any woman will assure you that a gynecological exam is not an erotic experience. There's nothing sexual about the procedure for either patient or physician—whether the physician is a man or a woman. The same holds true for prostate and testicular exams.
For many women, having a competent, experienced physician who takes the time to listen and is gentle is more important than that person's gender.
That said, we're concerned that the fear you're exhibiting may be keeping your wife from pursuing appropriate care for herself. It's important that she have a thorough physical exam annually.
Many of the dangers the gynecologist is seeking to protect your wife from are sub-microscopic. They cannot be seen or felt by you or even by your wife. Every six minutes an American woman is diagnosed with cervical, ovarian, peritoneal, tubal, vaginal, or vulvar cancer. More than 178,000 new cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed and 15,000 women will die of ovarian cancer this year.
By the time you or your wife become aware that something has changed within her, it could be too late for treatment. Finding problems early requires the specific training and education a gynecologist offers, and it can even take a doctor several months to diagnose some types of cancer because the symptoms are so vague.
Every woman should have a gynecological exam and a Pap test within three years of first intercourse or at age 21, and thereafter every year until age 30. After 30, if she's had three consecutive normal Pap tests, she should have the test every two to three years, and should continue to have a pelvic exam each year.
Please be supportive of your wife and the physician she feels most comfortable with. She's a precious gift to you, and protecting her health is a responsibility for both of you.
I want to orgasm!
Q. I feel disappointed that I can't have an orgasm. I'm not one of those women who don't mind not having one. Is my desire wrong?
A. There's nothing wrong with desiring to experience orgasm—it's part of how God designed sex to work. If we aren't a little selfish, it becomes difficult to truly enjoy sex. If you aren't pursuing some type of enjoyment, you can quickly shift to "only doing it for him" and then move to not having sex at all.
Not being able to orgasm can be a lifelong problem or develop after a time of being able to reach orgasm. Many studies suggest that 1 in 10 women has never reached orgasm; 1 in 4 women reports orgasm difficulties at some time. Up to two-thirds of women cannot reach orgasm through sexual intercourse alone—there must be direct stimulation of the clitoris.
Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2008, Spring, Page 62
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Average User Rating:
Ludwig
You are and ignorant SOB. You didn't even answer the question . How could a man be comfortable with his wife in such a position with another man. I think it's a husband's right to not allow his wife to go to a gynecologist as it is his right to prevent her for having a relationship with another man. Spouses private parts are not free for all
Stephen
The man who asked the obgyn question had a reasonable concern. Rather than listen, you fired back with statitics about women's health issue-basically accusing him of carelessness and slefishness toward his wife. he didnt say said he wanted his wife to stay away from doctors altogether! There are good female obgyn's almost everywhere, he has a right to ask his wife to change to one of them, just as his wife could request that a male do his yearly physical. My wife and I have this very agreement. In fact she is from Ukraine where female obgyns are the norm, and is uncomfortable with a male.
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