Twelve Dates

Here's a fun way to celebrate your anniversary all year long.

By Mike Vander Klipp

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It was our 15th anniversary and we were, ah, less than rich. We'd recently moved out of our starter home and into a slightly larger one to accommodate our three kids and 80-lb black lab. Add to that fact that our anniversary is in January, two weeks post-Christmas, and you get the picture of where we found ourselves financially.

But I wanted to do something significant—something that would surprise and delight my wife. I knew I could do one better than just planning a night out for the two of us.

I could arrange for babysitting, pick the location, and tell my wife to be dressed and ready on time. That would be nice and romantic—but it didn't seem to be enough. And that's when I hatched my plan.

Twelve months. Twelve dates. Twelve opportunities for me to show my wife how much I loved her and how much appreciated where we'd been and where we were going.

At our local Hallmark store, I purchased 12 cards for Brenda—one for each month of our anniversary year.

I scheduled each date for the 15th of the month. Although it took a bit of work, I managed to plan dates with her that took us back to places we'd been, apartments we'd lived in, old friends we hadn't seen in years.

Brenda loved it. In fact, she still maintains that for a hurried and harried mother of three (now four), my planning one date out once a month was the best anniversary present she's ever received.

If you find yourself in the same situation and you'd like to do something similar for your spouse, here are a few tips.

Do your homework

Start planning at least 3 months in advance. I started working on this idea in November, and our anniversary was in January. I knew that the holidays were fast approaching, and that people would be busily preparing for their family celebrations. To be truthful, I ran out of time. Don't make that same mistake.

My calendar was carefully planned to make the most of every box that had 15 on it.

I got creative, looking for events and places we'd both enjoy, and that would take us back to where it all started.

Make a list

Brainstorm a list of places you and your spouse can go that will stir memories and start conversations. Come up with at least 25 options (since a significant number of your ideas will inevitably not work out).

Keep the list handy so you can make notes on what details you need to nail down when the time comes.

Think through the details

As you plan for each month, visualize how that date will go. Is it a weekend? If you have kids, what will your family be doing on that day? Will the kids be in school until 4:00? Are chances good that your daughter will have a soccer game? If so, plan accordingly—for example, getting up and going to a nice breakfast together before the game could be a wonderful surprise for your spouse.

Remember that some of the places you used to go may have changed. Perhaps the lakeside park where you proposed is now a condo development. Best not to arrange a picnic there if it calls for sitting in someone's backyard. And if you plan to go to a few old restaurants, make sure you call ahead to ensure they're still in business.

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Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2008, Spring, Page 50

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