Fiscal Fight

Albert and Elida Roy of Springfield, Oregon, have been married eight years.

Deanna Hershiser

Average Rating: Not rated

[0 Comment]

There are no previous pages

1 of 2

Albert's Side:

She worries too much about money.

I know my financial choices before I met Elida could have been wiser. Being a spend-it-all kind of guy, I did things like charging my final year of college to my credit card. If it's a worthy goal, I'll go all out.

When I met Elida, it seemed as though our spending habits balanced each other. I've always appreciated Elida's wisdom in money matters, and after we married I sought her advice in big financial decisions. Since we both have black belts, we decided that we would teach karate and redefine the sport to include life skills derived from the Bible. My excitement grew as the opportunity unfolded for this "ministry" to become our business.

Our dream is now a reality. It's great to put in extra time at the school, teaching kids respect and discipline, and to have Elida and our daughters there with me. We've held to our ideals; we've never turned anyone away for their lack of funds. Though it has been tough at times, our needs have been met each month. During our first year teaching, the only way we made it one month was because some friends, out of the blue, gave us groceries.

But Elida continues to worry over our bills. What wears on me is the way she forecasts disaster. I catch the fear in her eyes when I'm writing the checks to pay the bills. It's like she's condemning me for having spent money on our business supplies and on people. I can't help wondering where her trust in God and me has gone. She looks for bankruptcy papers while I stress our need to keep giving a tithe to our church.

Elida's Side:

He doesn't take our finances seriously.

I've always been practical about money. During college I worked hard to stay ahead and finish with a healthy savings account. I met Albert on a karate team, and we found ourselves well attuned to each other. It really helped to start our marriage on a great communication level, even understanding our different attitudes about finances. I had plans to teach history and bring home a steady paycheck. I thought my thrifty habits would help us pay off Albert's debts from school.

What I didn't expect was getting pregnant on our honeymoon. Now, the karate school would be our only source of income. Even though a small inheritance helped us, it took funds we didn't have just to get started. I don't like the idea of going in front of people at church or elsewhere to ask for support for a ministry. I'd rather take care of things quietly.

After having two children and experiencing the lean summer months of our business, I saw debt piling on top of us, with less and less hope we'd ever dig out. Since the school is in Albert's name, he carried the checkbook and was responsible for the accounting. When I want to know what's going on with our money, Albert got defensive. For a few months I waited to pay our health insurance bill, because I felt that buying food was more important, and I didn't know where our budget stood. We ended up in a big argument when the insurance lapsed. It hurt to watch the cycle continue and to have no control.

next page... |

There are no previous pages

1 of 2

Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2001, Spring

More from Deanna Hershiser:
Kyria.com | Books

Join the Kyria.com Community!

Become a member to have access to the following:

Full access to the bimonthly Kyria digizine, each issue focusing on a spiritual discipline or theme
50 percent discount on all of the downloadable resources in the Kyria Store
Hundreds of members-only articles for thoughtful, influential women