Finding Our Way
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I pulled into our driveway that Valentine's Day to find the house dark. I walked into the kitchen and dropped my purse on a chair. I picked up the candy box I'd left tied with a red ribbon that morning when my husband, Wendell, walked into the room.
"Welcome home!" He gave me a quick hug and looked out the kitchen window. "Was the organ grinder's monkey on the front lawn when you came in?"
I stared at him and answered slowly. "No."
He shrugged and smiled, "Huh. He was there just a minute ago." Then Wendell walked into the living room, crashed on the sofa, and began to snore.
I slammed the lid on the trashcan and stomped toward the bedroom. No response. I flipped on every light switch as I went through the house, but Wendell didn't move.
In the bedroom, I kicked my shoes toward the closet and sighed. Maybe the neurologist was wrong. Maybe Wendell does have Alzheimer's. Maybe he has finally, truly lost it.
I thought about the two years of doctors, tests, and trouble we'd been through. It started with mild symptoms. General fatigue, headaches. It progressed to the point Wendell fell into walls, stumbled on sidewalks, and couldn't remember where we were going once we were five minutes down the road. We'd chased every disease from multiple sclerosis to Alzheimer's, going all the way to the Mayo Clinic and back again.
"God, please tell me what's wrong with Wendell!"
And then God answered my prayer.
"You Can't Trust Him Right Now"
I spotted a used syringe from Wendell's medical bag lying on my hope chest. Beside it, an empty vial of something I couldn't pronounce. What had my doctor husband done?
I grabbed the incriminating evidence and hustled into the living room.
"Wendell, wake up!" I shook him until his eyes fluttered, but they never focused. "Talk to me! I need to know what you took."
He was still breathing. But I had no idea what to do. The truth of what I'd discovered crouched at the edge of my mind like a flaming dragon, ready to swallow me in rage and despair. But first I had to make sure Wendell wasn't going to die. Then I'd yell at him.
I called a friend who had been a pharmacist years ago and read him the name of the drug.
"Wendell should be able to sleep it off," he told me. "Then we can deal with the problem in the morning."
The problem. What a nice way to put it.
When Wendell became partially coherent a few hours later, I confronted him. "I am so mad at you right now," I said. "But you are so drugged you'll never even remember what I'm saying. And that makes me even madder!"
I was right. He didn't remember. The next day I met with our pastor and a few trusted friends. Ironically, we'd moved to an intentional community two years before because we wanted to help troubled people, especially those addicted to alcohol and drugs. Now we were the ones needing help.
"Well, the first thing you need to do is go home and stay with Wendell today," our pastor said. "You can't trust him to be alone right now."
Related Topics:
Addiction, Deliverance, Drugs, Trust
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Anonymous
What you write about also sounds so familiar to what has been happening in my life for the past year and a half. I found out from my husband himself that he had been unfaithful throughout our 31 years of marraige. This admission did not come until after I began to notice that he was having a lot of behavioral issues. I thought maybe he was suffering from some terrible disease that was going to take his life. It was painful to find out that he truly was - that it was sin - and it was taking his life. The cruelest thing about it is it is taking my life also. He now suffers from terrible anxiety and depression. He has been hospitalized several times and is on many medications. I have suspected that maybe even dementia is part on his problem but the doctors don't seem to think so. He has seen a therapist but won't continue to do so. Talking about the issue seems to only make him worse, he becomes more withdrawn and shaky. Please pray for us. I don't think I can take much more.
CJ
Dealt with EXACTLY the same problems (could have written it myself) BUT totally different addiction ($ex addiction)!!!! I can't believe how familiar it was and how universal was the damage is and also the healing, if we let God heal us!
KC
God be with you both. Proud to have you as family, and as Christian examples for real life crisises turned over to God - you are serving Him faithfully.
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