Feeding Frenzy
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Friends told me that after James and I were married, we'd discover things about each other that we'd never noticed before—cleaning patterns, bathroom habits, little quirks. They were right.
But nothing prepared me for the greatest shock of all. My husband is an eater.
When I say eater, I don't mean three square meals a day, or even several small healthy meals throughout the day. I mean he eats all day long.
The realization first hit me on our honeymoon. We ate breakfast, we ate lunch, we ate dinner. And James had snacks in between. One day, I subconsciously kept up with him. We gobbled bagels, chips, candy, ice cream.
By supper—a fancy candlelight dinner—my stomach had decided enough was enough. The thought of going to a restaurant and being surrounded by all that food was nauseating! I asked James if we could postpone our dinner plans until another evening. That night, instead of gazing dreamily into my husband's eyes while watching the sun set over Lake Michigan, I suffered in bed with the worst stomach ache I've ever had.
James's eating habits didn't change. And rather than learning from that honeymoon belly ache, I found myself trying to keep up with him—whether by mimicking his snacking habits or by doling out equal portions at our meals. I knew that I couldn't keep up with him. I understood that our bodies have differing metabolisms. But still, I ate what he ate, when he ate. It was a constant struggle.
I'd been battling weight control for a while. Before the wedding I lost 30 pounds. I felt great—I looked great! But afterward, I regained much of the weight from eating what and when James did.
I convinced myself that since the wedding was over, it didn't matter if I gained a few pounds. But one day during my devotions, I came across the apostle Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 6 that say our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit, that we were bought at a great price, so we need to honor Christ with our bodies. Although in the biblical context Paul was referring to sexual purity, I realized his words could also apply to eating. By noshing potato chips and pizza and drinking soda, James and I weren't feeding our bodies what they need to be healthy.
Convicted, I sat down with James and talked to him about our eating habits. I explained I'd been subconsciously trying to keep up with him, but that I wasn't going to do that anymore. Then I expressed how much I loved him and how his health was important to me. We agreed to make a change in our eating habits.
I now try to plan meals ahead of time and buy only the food we need for them. If we want to snack, we buy fruit and other healthy foods. While James occasionally sneaks "goodies" past me, I do my best not to eat them. Instead, I munch a banana and feel much better about myself for doing so.
Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2004, Winter
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Average User Rating:
Glory
Ohhh, how I can relate!!... In my 1st year of marriage I gained 100 pounds due to the same issue. My husband loved our quality time while we ate. He wouldn't eat without me. How do you say no to that!? After realizing what our quality time was doing to me, I had to make a decision for myself (with his support of course) I began with smaller portions and we spent even more time together on evening walks. I lost all the weight over time and he was grateful to how it benefitted him as well as myself! (More stamina, more energy!) ALL the glory goes to God because prayer truly changes things!.. That's where it was founded on!! Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain.(Psalm 127:1)
Lena Stumper(Registered User)
Nice way to handle not being your husband's "food cop". Nothing creates resentment faster in a grown man than being told what he can can't eat. I do like the idea of not having the junk in the house as a way to curb the bad eating for both of you.
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