Stand by Your Man
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Most women do about 11 things at the same time (including talking on the phone)—especially if they're married with children! We get good at responsibility-juggling because we have to: There's a job to manage, diapers to change, a house to clean, books to read, friends to reach out to, not to mention a husband to care for. We know how it feels to lose heart when we get burdened by too many responsibilities.
While your husband may not juggle the same number of details you do, the challenges he deals with are heavy ones, too—starting with a wife to love and serve, a career at which to succeed, even children to nurture. And, just like you, he can lose heart while carrying heavy responsibilities.
That's one of the reasons why God put people together in marriage—for mutual encouragement. Unfortunately, building up is harder work than demolishing, which comes all too naturally! But an encouraged husband makes a great life partner—he's more positive, responsive, and better equipped to work and serve your whole family.
You have an incredible ability to "make or break" your husband's day or week—or decade—by what you say and do. Here are a few ways to stand by your man and make him feel as though he's the greatest.
Say thanks.
If you find it hard to come up with ways to encourage your husband, saying thanks is a great place to start. If things are rocky just now and you don't feel particularly thankful for your husband (believe me, this happens!), start small. Thank him for holding open a door, picking up the newspaper after he's finished, or tucking your kids into bed.
Many women hold back grateful affirmations because they think, Why should I thank him for things he should do anyway?! The first reason to do it is because you've signed up for this gig (being his wife). The second is that your positive words pave the way for your husband to do more of the same.
At our house, I make a point of profusely thanking my husband, David, every time he gives the kids a bath or gets up with our early risers so I don't have to. These things still don't happen as often as I'd like them to, but that's not stopping me from expressing my gratitude when David does come through.
Know your man.
What are his strong points? His weak ones? Become an expert on your spouse.
Maybe your husband's a wonderful father. Or maybe he's a good financial provider. But unless you're married to Mr. Perfect Guy, he probably struggles somewhere, too. Does your husband have a quick temper? Does he spend too much money—or time on the computer? While these are points for prayer, they're also areas in which encouragement can make a difference.
Develop a sharp eye for noticing small steps in positive directions, then encourage your husband in them. Every time I see my husband, David, who tends to be a spender, make an effort to save money, I notice it out loud. I tell him how much I appreciate him disciplining himself for some of our long-term goals instead of dropping cash at the local hardware store every Saturday.
Originally published in: Today's Christian Woman, 1999, September/October, Vol. 21, Issue 5, Page 58
Related Topics:
Affirmation, Companionship, Encouragement, Husbands, Intimacy, Marriage, Men
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Ilovehearts
Kathi you are absolutely right! Thank you for sharing that perspective so we can all be mindful. As most of us have been there too. So true, about having to drive yourself if sick etc. Thanks again for making this important point!!!
Joshua
I've always enjoyed reading every bit of your mails but it's now time for me to confess: They don't only speak to the mind but directly to the soul and nurtures the heart. I'm single and pray to live by them and claim the joy that lies within your inspiring words. GOD RICHLY BLESS YOU...!!!!!!!
jenny
This is indeed life changing stuff.Am single but soon into it and i,ve found those points very realistic and an eye-opener in my future relationship.God bless you for the great work.You always are such ablessing to me.shalom
Laverne
The best part of this article is asking God to give me "his" love for my husband. I think I will take that advice and run with it. I love my husband, but when he upsets me it takes me a some time to allow him to come close again. This frustrates him and me. God and I are working on this particular issue. Thanks for all you do and God bless you.
carmen
I THANK YOU FOR THIS ARTICLE. THE HOLY SPIRIT HAS BEEN SPEAKING TO ME REGARDING THIS ISSUES. I HAVE REPENTED AND I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO WHAT THE HOLY SPIRIT IS GOING TO DO. I PRAY THAT THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL HEAL WHAT HAS BEEN BROKEN. ONLY HE KNOWS. I PRAY THAT EVERY WOMAN WILL BE ENCOURAGE THROUGH YOUR ARTICLE. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO OBEDIENT AND SO HONEST. I PRAY THAT THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL TEACH US ALL TO BE THE WIVES HE HAS CALLS US TO BE FOR HIS GLORY IN JESUS NAME I PRAY AMEN. IN HIS PRESENCE CARMEN
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