A Simple, Balanced Life?
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[0 Comment]Has over-involvement, clutter and busyness become the rule in your life? Do you find yourself hoping all the activity will result in a better, fuller life? Chances are good it won't, says counselor and author Norm Wright. In fact, a hectic existence ultimately wears at your marriage and your soul.
Why is our natural tendency to lead complicated, cluttered lives?
Society sends the message that we should be busy and involved. We end up taking on more and more only to find we don't have the time to finish one task before we feel compelled to go on to another. Also, our own unrealistic expectations keep us doing too much. We don't take time to consider what we're doing and why we're doing it.
How can we stop this self-imposed chaos?
We begin by evaluating where we're at and what we really want out of life. I came across one fact in writing this book that had a profound effect on how I now use my time. According to the research, by age 35 a person has roughly 500 days left in life to use as he or she pleases—once the time for eating, sleeping, working and such is considered. And I'm about to turn 60!
We whine about not leading simple lives, and yet we seem hesistant to take the steps necessary to change. Why?
Most of us don't like to attempt something unless we know we're going to succeed, and most of us don't know how to lead a balanced, simple life. It's interesting that people make the greatest changes in their lives when they experience a crisis. Only when the usual ways of handling problems fail do they consider a change. I'd like to see people make the changes before they reach the crisis stage.
It doesn't help that our society is geared toward the instantaneous fix for a problem. There isn't the emphasis on patience and endurance that there was generations ago. When people realize simplifying their lives is going to take work and time, they resort to the familiar, cluttered life they know.
Is it possible for spouses to help each other find ways to simplify their lives?
It certainly helps to have another's perspective. I've also found that writing things out helps a person "see" his or her life more clearly. But don't be surprised if a mate doesn't take the suggestions to heart. A husband or wife may worry about being controlled by a mate and will see that person as an adversary, rather than an ally
Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 1998, Summer
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