Marriage in the Shadowlands
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[0 Comment]What an unlikely couple! C. S. ("Jack") Lewis was an Oxford professor and author who made a mark on Christianity that few have equaled. His classics include Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, and Surprised by Joy, as well as the children's series The Chronicles of Narnia. Joy Davidman, a gifted writer herself, was an American divorced mother of two, former Communist, and convert to Christianity from Judaism. And yet these two shared a fierce tenderness and commitment in their marriage so stunning and powerful that, even 45 years later, it's been the subject of numerous books, as well as the movie Shadowlands, starring Anthony Hopkins and Debra Winger.
"We feasted on love," said Lewis, "every mode of it—solemn and merry, romantic and realistic, sometimes as dramatic as a thunderstorm, sometimes as comfortable and unemphatic as putting on your soft slippers." Their marriage would last a mere four years, until Joy's death in 1960, which grieved Lewis so greatly that he survived her only three more years, until his death in November 1963.
One eyewitness to Jack and Joy's marriage was Joy's son Douglas Gresham. Douglas first met Jack when he was 8 years old (his mother married Jack when Douglas was 10) and spent the next 10 years growing a strong bond with the man whom he considered to be "the finest man and best Christian I have ever known."
So moved by the "Deep Magic" of their marriage and faith, Douglas has written several books on their lives, including Lenten Lands: My Childhood with Joy Davidman and C. S. Lewis (HarperCollins) and his recent offering, Jack's Life: A Memoir of C. S. Lewis (Broadman & Holman). He is also co-producer for the upcoming movie version of one of Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, which will be released in theaters nationwide on December 9.
MP asked Douglas Gresham what made this marriage so powerful and inspirational, and what we can learn about the true nature of marriage and love.
Describe your mother's marriage to C. S. Lewis.
Theirs was a marriage of intense love, overshadowing fear, occasional agony, and deep enduring delights. Much like any truly successful marriage, except that instead of 40 or 50 years to experience it, they had it all concentrated and condensed into 4. Those years were both extraordinarily happy and yet, at the same time, shot through with dread and fear.
Dread and fear?
My mother was diagnosed with cancer before they were married. Although the prognosis was not good, because of so many faithful prayers, my mother went into remission. Interestingly enough, all through the difficult, bitter months of her cancer, she remained strong and comforted Jack, rather than the other way around. She encouraged and teased him out of his sorrow.
Never in my life (and I am 60 years old) have I seen two people who loved each other more than Jack and my mother. Rarely have I encountered two people who fit together better than they did.
Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2005, Winter, Page 44
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