Got the Rite Stuff?

USA Today

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Before you get rid of all those old habits, consider keeping just a few.

"Couple rituals," says William Doherty, Director of Marriage and Family Therapy at the University of Minnesota in St. Paul, can add up in the long run.

Rituals are mutually agreed upon, scheduled moments that help couples maintain connection. They can also provide "the glue we need to help us cling together in times of stress and in seasons of despair," says Doherty. Connection time can include things like greeting each other lovingly, talking over coffee, or taking an evening walk.

When creating or enhancing your own "couple ritual," remember the following:

Be intentional. Agree on a time and activity, and commit to maintain it.
Make a clear transition. Get alone and talk about personal stuff.
Resist the urge to problem solve for the family, and keep conflict out of the conversation.
Decide to alter the time or nature of an activity together. Be sure that you both understand these changes.

USA Today

Want Out of the Clean Your Plate Club?

You've finalized the holiday rounds—whose parents to visit first—but you can't figure out how to avoid getting stuffed? You're not alone. When 1,003 Americans were surveyed by the American Institute for Cancer Research, over one-quarter admitted that the amount of food they are served dictates how much food they consume. Avoid a belly-ache this holiday season by following the advice of Melanie Polk, Director of Nutrition Education at the American Institute of Cancer Research.

First, use the Food Guide Pyramid to figure out how many servings make up your personal portions, based on your activity level, age, and height (www.usda.gov/cnpp, or call (202) 606-8000). Then, take a day to measure out your favorite foods together and remember what they look like on a plate. You'll be ready to limit the amount of food you consume and savor visiting the in-laws.

What's the Secret to a Happy, Healthy Life?

Marriage! One of the most consistent findings in social research is that married men and women do markedly better in all measures of well-being when compared to any of their unmarried counterparts. Married individuals are healthier—physically and mentally—and they live longer, enjoy a more fulfilled life, and take better care of themselves (and each other). But that's not all. Marriage continues to support well-being into a couple's late years. Research done at the State University of New York–Buffalo shows that for those fifty-five and older, being married is consistently associated with better overall health. So relax—the best has yet to come.

from Why Marriage Matters (PinonPress), by Glenn T. Stanton.

Does Winter Make You SAD?

If the coming winter's got you choked up instead of cheered up, consider building a snowman with your sweetheart. According to Edward Pellicano, a psychiatrist at Gateway Community Service Board in Savannah, Georgia, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is marked by feelings of depression when exposed to little sunlight and feelings of elation with increased sunlight. If you're looking for relief from your winter blues, start by looking for your winter boots and take advantage of as much daylight as possible. Increasing your daily exercise can also help boost your mood. And so can making up after you fight in the snow.

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Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2000, Winter

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