Couple Minutes

Susan Miller

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COUPLES DEVOTIONAL
The Perfectionist Threat

He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. —2 Corinthians 12:9

We expect too much of our mates. We want them to be friend, counselor, sex playmate, prudent banker, intellectual peer. And we want marriage to offer a lifetime of unparalleled happiness.

Actually, we need to give ourselves a reality check from time to time: "Why did I marry this person, and what do I really want?" Did I marry Fritz because I wanted a resident Handy Andy? No, I married him because I couldn't imagine a future that didn't include him.

Our expectations are fed by unrealistic media images and even by some Christian speakers and authors. We're familiar with the ideal of the perfect wife and husband: spiritual leader, gracious homemaker, involved parent. We read the books, we listen to the cds, and we think our marriages seem terribly inadequate by comparison.

Yet the Bible doesn't chastise us with unattainable and unrealistic ideas. The Bible speaks instead of kindness, joy, gentleness, respect, and serving. I know that I am married to this man, and this man only, to honor, to cherish, to enjoy. Instead of fretting about what our spouses are not—and what our marriages are lacking—we can be thankful for each other and concentrate on loving the person God has given to each of us.

By Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse from The Couples' Devotional Bible (Zondervan)

Tips for a red-hot romance

These 5 suggestions will convince your sweetie that it's Valentine's Day all year round:

Bake a love note into a cupcake or write a message in icing on a large cookie.
Buy a box of chocolates and remove a few of the candies. In the empty paper cups place a few trinkets such as jewelry or a tiny love note.
Spend the night in heaven. Rent a dry ice machine from a theater company to form a cloud around your bed.
In the middle of the night, write a romantic message such as "You look beautiful!" or "What a gorgeous hunk!" on the bathroom mirror.
If you hear "your song" on the radio, call your mate, hold the phone to the speaker, and let the music do the romancing.

Adapted from Red-Hot Monogamy by Bill and Pam Farrel (Harvest House)

7 Communication connections

These seven tips can improve the way you and your mate communicate. But be aware—most but not all men and women will share these characteristics. Switch up if you need to—that's normal, too!

Women are inclined to want "feeling" conversations, while men lean toward problem solving. Label the kind of conversation you expect to have.
Women give and want to hear lots of details; men go for the bottom line.
, feelings, and personal issues. Men discuss topics such as sports, politics, and movies.

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Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2007, Spring, Page 6

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