Family Management Makeover
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[0 Comment]When Lee and Rachael Hamilton married 14 years ago, they never dreamed their home would become so stressful that Rachael would enter a Life Makeover contest out of desperation. But she did. And she won.
When I arrived at the Hamiltons' home in upstate New York, I found Lee puttering in the side yard. "Which (expletive deleted) one are you?" he greeted me with palpable hostility.
Hoping to boost his spirits, I cheerfully introduced myself and explained that I was the family management expert dispatched by the women's magazine that sponsored the contest.
He looked undecided whether to run me off his property or shoot me on the spot. Drawing on obviously dwindling reserves of self-restraint, he responded, "Look, I didn't need Joe Fitness telling me to work out every morning when we can't even get the kids to school on time. And it's ridiculous that they sent over that financial geek to plan our future when we can't find the bills that need paying today. And don't get me started on the meditation expert (more expletives deleted)."
It didn't take long for me to realize that Lee's frustration was justified. As part of the Life Makeover prize, the magazine sent a fitness expert, a financial expert, and a meditation expert—whatever that is—to "make over" these areas of the Hamiltons' life. Actually, what Lee and Rachael needed first and foremost was an organizational framework—and I'm not talking clutter—to bring order to their domestic chaos and peace to their frazzled family.
I spent two days at their disorderly home. I listened as they voiced frustrations and dreams for their family that had some-how gotten lost in the confusion five children can add to life.
I identified their key issues, suggested stress-relieving strategies, and helped them implement a few solutions before returning to the airport.
Rachael became teary-eyed as she held their toddler and waved good-bye to me from the door. Lee walked me to the car and expressed heart-felt thanks with a big hug. Their hope had been renewed, and they had a doable plan to create a smoothly running, organized home. I could tell he was glad he didn't shoot me.
Applying business strategies
The strategies I shared with Lee and Rachael are 35 years, one husband, three children, two apartments, seven houses, and a lot of prayer in the making. You see, I entered marriage domestically challenged. I grew up in a home where both my parents were professionals. Mother owned dress stores, complete with a full-time tailor on staff; she also had a housekeeper and cook to help at home. Consequently, I never learned to sew, clean house, or cook. I had a built-in job selling clothes at Mom's stores, so, unlike my friends, I didn't babysit to earn spending money. I knew next to nothing about small children.
Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2006, Summer, Page 54
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