Mind Games

Take our quiz to find out how well you really know your spouse!

Phil Callaway

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For Guys Only

Guys, how much do you know about the state of your marriage and the gal you wake up beside each morning? How she thinks. What makes her tick. And why she asks you to move furniture in the middle of the night. Take this quiz and find out!

The movie your wife will most want you to rent on your next anniversary is:

A.Lethal Auto Combat 6 in 3D
B. Something with foreign people talking foreign with words at the bottom
C. Anything so romantic you won't care if you see the end of the movie

The thing your wife loves whispered in her ear is:

A. Quotations by Homer
B. Quotations by Homer Simpson
C. Sweet somethings

For your tenth anniversary, the gift your wife will want more than anything is:

A. That plaid BarcaLounger for two with his and her cup holders
B. What? We have an anniversary? When?
C. Chocolate and flowers and your undivided attention (to her, not the chocolate)

How often do you have marital relations?

A. When I say so, woman
B. We haven't had the relatives over since the Thanksgiving Jello Fiasco
C. I'd love to answer that question but my wife and I haven't seen each other in an hour and a half

Your wife asks you, "What were Humphrey Bogart's famous words to the lovely Ingrid Bergman in the romantic film Casablanca?" You respond:

A. "Go ahead, make my day"
B. "First rule of Fight Club, don't talk about Fight Club"
C. "Here's lookin' at you, kid"

The last thing you said to your wife today before you left for work was:

A. The kids are up and they're eating bowls of Mega Choco Zingo Puffs with salad tongs
B. Yikes! You may want to put some concealer on that
C. Can't wait to see you tonight

On your fortieth anniversary the song title that best describes your sex life will be:

A. "I Say A Little Prayer"
B. "Yesterday"
C. "Oh What a Feelin'" (Dancin' on the Ceiling)

How to score:
If you chose only the "A" answers, your chances of scoring tonight are not that good. Please go to the "C" section of the yellow pages, and look up "Counselor." If you gravitated mostly to the "B" responses, your funny bone is in good working order, but you could still use a little help. Please take an aspirin and renew your Marriage Partnership subscription in the morning. If you chose "C" five or more times, waytago! Sounds like some tenderness, a good sense of humor, and a servant heart are keeping your marriage fresh.

For Gals Only

The following quiz is intended to help you discover how well you really know the guy in your life. You may want to fill it out with your husband. Then again, you may want to take it into the bathroom, lock the door, and let him wonder what you're snickering about.

The gift my husband most loves to receive on his birthday:

A. Socks. Lots and lots of socks
B. Flowers and cute underwear
C. Cheesecake. Served by me—wearing only socks

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Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2004, Fall

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