In Love with My In-Laws
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I have a confession to make— I like my in-laws. Since that disqualifies me from ever starring in a television sitcom based on my marriage, I'll make another startling revelation: my husband likes his in-laws too. Call us weird, but Mark and I don't suffer from the Dueling Mother-in-Law Syndrome that has fueled decades of prime-time comedies. In fact, the relationship we share with our in-laws actually enriches our marriage.
One of my favorite memories from our 18-year partnership is the week we spent camping with Mark's dad and stepmom, Paul and Kathy, in the Rocky Mountains. Mark and I were barely more than newlyweds when we packed sleeping bags and other camping gear and set out on an intergenerational adventure. All four of us bunked together in a six-man tent, the kind of arrangement that comedy writers dream about.
The first day, Mark and Paul spent hours setting up the tent. After the first thunderstorm, Kathy and I spent hours at the laundromat, drying our soggy sleeping bags. We were drenched by another downpour at a golf course a few days later. (This time our sleeping bags were safe, thanks to the canyon-sized trench we had dug around the tent.)
Later in the week, we picked a sunny afternoon and set off on a leisurely three-mile hike. The outing turned into an 11-mile endurance test, thanks to Paul's mistaken conviction that our intended destination was "just around the next bend." Through all our misadventures, we laughed, shared long talks and laid the foundation for a lasting friendship.
My fond memories of that trip may have something to do with the fact that Kathy is a marvelous cook. Mark and I ate better for those five days than we had since we'd been married. But home-fried chicken and marinated cucumber salad aside, Paul and Kathy's relationship is a great model of marriage for us. And unless their invitation for camping was a cover to make sure I wasn't starving their son, they seemed to approve of us too.
My in-laws' affirmation during those early years was important. It convinced me that I was doing OK as a wife and that Mark and I were going to make it. But over the years, the most precious part of knowing my husband's family has been the deeper way it has allowed me to know him.
When we were dating, my love for Mark expressed itself through an overwhelming desire to learn everything about him, from the time he was a child until the day we met. A couple's love for each other, like God's love for us, his children, always seeks to know deeply, irrevocably (Matt. 10:29-31; 1 Kings 8:38-39). I want to know my husband fully, with the intimate familiarity of "oneness" (Gen. 2:24).
But gaining such knowledge of another person isn't easy. Our backgrounds bear few similarities. Mark's father and mother divorced when he was small. While his mother finished her master's degree in social work, she and her four children moved often. Mark once attended four different schools in the same year. The high school he graduated from had an enrollment larger than the population of my hometown.
Originally published in: Marriage Partnership, 2000, Spring
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Average User Rating:
Paula Yingst
What an inspiring and unique perspective! I noticed this article was originally published in 2000. Hoping Renae's relationship with her in-laws is still thriving. She sounds like a mother-in-law's dream wife for her son!
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