Kyria

HappyDay

August 22, 2011  6:34am

This article blessed me. I'm sitting here with a headache after crying all night because a friend is pregnant. I long to give my daughter a sibling. Thank you for mentioning the fear of losing your only child. For years before I was even married my grandmother would always say "Whatever you do, don't have just one child because if something happens you won't be a mother." Twenty years latter that tugs at my heart as a fear she planted. Thanks for sharing. I know that God is more than able to either bless me with more healthy children or give me peace in my current situation.

Unexpected Blessing

April 09, 2011  10:03am

I am a born again Christian,and I too have been afflicted with secondary infertility for over ten years. For years, I prayed for a second child, always with pregnancy in mind. My son was 7 when he asked for a sibling, stating that all his classmates had siblings. I simply told him that God had not given him a sibling, and maybe he should pray for one, also. I have always relied on God,referring to Proverbs 3:5-6. I am a L&D nurse, so everyday, I was surrounded by fertile women, adding to insult. But, God answered my prayer in a completely unexpected way. One day, I went to work, and my son had been born. To make a long story short, God blessed me with a second child through an unexpected adoption. It was a private, inexpensive adoption(the only cost was a home study and lawyer fees), and I feel truly blessed. Just a reminder, God answers prayer, but sometimes it is in a different way, other than our plan.

(Cont.) I still have heartache and yearning for another baby, but I try to look to God for trust in all of this and I continue to ask him for his love and guidance. We have talked about adoption, and are looking into it. Every time I'm out and about and I run across a baby, I smile and I think to myself, what could have been. I too felt guilty when people would say comments about how we should be happy that we have one child already...it made me feel as if I was being selfish for wanting another child. Deep in my heart, I know they meant well, but it still hurt. My heart goes out to those suffering from secondary infertility as well as those couples that want to have a child and cannot...they're hurting too.

(Cont.) I still have heartache and yearning for another baby, but I try to look to God for trust in all of this and I continue to ask him for his love and guidance. We have talked about adoption, and are looking into it. Every time I'm out and about and I run across a baby, I smile and I think to myself, what could have been. I too felt guilty when people would say comments about how we should be happy that we have one child already...it made me feel as if I was being selfish for wanting another child. Deep in my heart, I know they meant well, but it still hurt. My heart goes out to those suffering from secondary infertility as well as those couples that want to have a child and cannot...they're hurting too.

Shannan

March 26, 2011  3:07am

Thank you for such a touching and understanding article...the tears kept rolling down my face upon reading it. I too suffer from secondary infertility and although I do have one happy, healthy and blessed son who is now 8 and half years old, the pain still eats away at me. I'll share with you my story and my feelings in all of this. My husband and I tried for another baby when our son was 2 years old, but after several months of trying and nothing happening, I was told that I had gone into early menopause and since I was no longer ovulating and my cycles had stopped, I was considered post-menopausal. I was in my my late 30's at the time and was told that my baby-making days were over. I was devastated as we were looking forward to having another child. My husband and I both came from families who had siblings, and we wanted the same for our son...I really wanted it for him because I have such a close and loving relationship with my sister, and I wanted him to be able to experience the enjoyment of having a sibling in his life as well. Well, after going to this doctor and that doctor, I finally gave up and tried to cope with the best I could...I prayed to God about it so many times and asked him to allow me to become pregnant so I could bear another child. Well, about a year and ahalf, I found my self pregnant only to be miscarrying. I was really upset and angry. I really felt angry at God because I felt that He let me down...to allow me to become pregnant only to take it away. I couldn't understand why, especially since He knew my pain of wanting another baby and how much it meant to me. I honestly felt that I would have been better if I had not gotten pregnant to began with since it ended the way it did. I went through the anger, sadness, denial, and trying to 'figure' it all out. But I turned it over to God, and he has been faithful in helping me with the pain.