The Culture We Embrace
Average Rating: 
[10 Comments]
He looked like Frankenstein's mini-me. Chad Lee was a pale, square-faced boy with inky black hair. He also had a small mouth out of which he spat the word, fat. I don't remember clearly how he said it, whether it was "you're so fat" or "isn't she fat?" but I remember the word, and I remember his saying it while looking at me. I was eight years old. We were in the same third grade class, and there wasn't a day during the school year that I didn't either hear his critique of my size or live in fear of hearing it. It was a struggle of a year.
In fifth grade I still wore Husky jeans and cried looking at my rounder self in the mirror. My mom decided to fix me by taking me to Weight Watchers. I was five feet tall and weighed 121 pounds. My leader wanted me to lose 20 pounds. I secretly wanted to lose 30 so I could eat cake. Looking at that time and the person I was then, I wish I'd learned to be a good eater. Instead, I learned to be a good dieter. I became a very good dieter.
Unfortunately, as most people know, good dieters become exceptional re-gainers, and the truly talented go on to be yo-yo dieters. So it was with me. I embraced diets as my salvation. They were my key to bodily perfection. Success wore a size 8; failure shopped for plus-sizes, and I had wardrobes for both. I tried a lot of weight loss plans over a whole lot of time and failed all of them. For 30 years I tried desperately to be a skinny cake eater … until two years ago.
Give up what?
One morning in November 2007, I asked God for a challenge. I wanted to do something for a year, and I wanted to write about my experience along the way just for fun and to see if I could do it. Brainstorming, I came up with a couple of forgettable plans when into my head popped the most ridiculously insane thought in the history of thoughts: give up desserts for a year.
I love desserts. I don't have a sweet tooth; I have a whole mouthful of them. I'm an equal-opportunity dessert-eater. I tried giving up sweets five years earlier and crashed and burned before January was through.
I don't do repeats, I told myself. But the thought stayed. Like a seed in my brain, it planted itself and immediately took root. I don't want to, I said. The thought began to sprout. No … I whined. It was too late. God had me where he wanted me.
When I began my New Year's resolution in 2008, I told myself that it was first to see if I could do it and second to be healthier—both noble goals. But really, inside, what I wanted was to lose 30 pounds (so the next year I could eat cake). Things seemed to go well at first. It wasn't as difficult physically as I expected it to be, and while the social aspects of dessert-eating were a tougher adjustment, I had the self-satisfaction of knowing that I was being transformed into the thinner person I always longed to be. By March, though, I still looked the same and my clothes weren't any looser. I was mad, and struggling with what it all meant—expectations and disappointments, success and failure, wanting and denial—they were all wrapped up in something as simple as eating. I couldn't help but wonder how it happened that nothing happened? I couldn't help but question the point of continuing on. The answer was I had a profound desire to see the resolution to the end and felt a push to move forward that came from something greater than me. So I kept going.
Related Topics:
Body Image, Diet, Dieting
More from Jennifer Petitt:
Kyria.com | Books
Join the Kyria.com Community!
Become a member to have access to the following:
- Full access to the bimonthly Kyria digizine, each issue focusing on a spiritual discipline or theme
- 50 percent discount on all of the downloadable resources in the Kyria Store
- Hundreds of members-only articles for thoughtful, influential women
downloadable guides
Sabbath Rest in a World of Stress
Practical insights for how to live a life that honors the spirit of Sabbath-rest.
The Mentoring Series: Nancy Ortberg
Discover leadership principles from a well-known author and respected leader.Browse More Guides
back to top
Average User Rating:
Displaying 1–5 of 10 comments
See all comments
Bernadette
exactly what i needed to hear, thankyou Holy Spirit for confirming your word to me,and thankyou Jennifer for your honesty.
Ann
This article comes out of the author's walk with God; it is evident that there was fruit from her decision to follow (and what sweet fruit it is!). I am challenged and blessed to see faithfulness rewarded. I have been a devoted servant of my Lord for so many years, yet so undevoted in this area, though I have tried yielding so often. Thank you for speaking the truth on this very sensitive subject.
Jennie Dugan(Registered User)
What an outstanding article. I especially loved Jennifer's line about us imitating people when it comes to body image that we wouldn't even otherwise consider imitaing. "We embrace the diet culture in order to look like people we otherwise choose not to emulate." For me, it was a subtly powerful article, and I really appreciate it.
Fran
Wow! I read this article while on break at work and trying to get refocused. Some of my coworkers really irritate me. Maybe my sweet to give up this year is my frustration with them. Ouch! Thanks Jennifer for expounding what God has done for you.
Diane(Registered User)
Just what God intended for me to read this morning! His timing is perfect! Thank you for sharing this article of Jennifer's again this year. Curious if there are other articles of her year without sweets that could minister further. Thanks again.
Rate & Comment on this article *