Breaking Free
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[0 Comment]"Interestingly, in a day when diversity is celebrated, the cultural prescription for beauty is a narrow, one-size-fits-all mentality. And that one size is a skinny size few women ever achieve," says Dr. Linda Mintle, a licensed family therapist who specializes in weight and body issues. Since the desire for beauty comes with such huge consequences, we asked Dr. Mintle for insights on weight and self-esteem.
Measuring Up to Our Culture
Kyria: Why is obesity increasing in America while the culture keeps promoting ultra thinness?
Dr. Linda Mintle: We're repeatedly exposed to unrealistic cultural images that affect our thinking, so many of us give up and overeat, feeling we can't measure up no matter what we do.
Then why do we still compare ourselves?
Because we're uncertain of our identities. Comparisons are our attempt to feel better about ourselves and bolster our esteem. The real issue is, where do you find your esteem?
And the answer is?
Take the self out of self-esteem and replace it with God-esteem and you have a different picture. If you try to love yourself apart from God, you'll fail. Esteem doesn't come from your appearance, your work, your family, or other people. You're highly esteemed simply because God created and chose you. God doesn't say, "If only she'd lose five pounds, I could love her more."
So is focusing on physical appearance wrong?
Not at all. You don't have to ignore your outward appearance to develop inner beauty. It isn't wrong to look as nice as you can with what you have. And the better self-care you exercise, the better witness of a balanced life you are to unbelievers.
How can we practice self-care in moderation?
"Just five more pounds" is most women's mantra. But you shouldn't try to lose weight unless you're mentally, spiritually, and physically ready to change your lifestyle. Diets don't work. A study by the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center and the University of Washington showed the yo-yo dieting many women practice negatively impacts the immune system. And we're all familiar with the frustration of losing and gaining weight. So it takes a mental toll, too.
Then should we fight or accept those pounds?
If you need to lose a few pounds, do it sensibly. Cut back on portion sizes; walk more; drink plenty of water. And be sure to check with your physician—especially if you need to lose a larger amount of weight. But if it's just an extra 10 or 15 pounds just won't go away, then maybe it's time just to accept them. Get off the scales and on with your life!
Taking Control of Our Thoughts
How can we overcome the propensity toward obsessing about our appearance?
The key is to be aware of our thoughts and stop those that don't align with God's.
That sounds easy, but it isn't always. How exactly can we control our rogue thoughts?
We need to make a conscious, daily effort to renew our minds with the truth of God's Word. I love to read the Psalms because God speaks so personally to our distress. And I like to insert my name in Ephesians 1:4: "Long before he laid down the earth's foundations, he had Linda in mind, had settled on Linda as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love" (The Message). If I don't stay grounded in Scripture, I can easily start to feel inadequate based on what I see in the culture around me.
Related Topics:
Acceptance, Beauty, Body Image
More from Q & A with Dr. Linda Mintle:
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