The "Other"
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[1 Comment]Several years ago, my friend LaTonya invited me to a gospel concert at her church, a predominantly African American congregation. Admittedly my first thought was, Will I be the only person there who isn't black? Before I could voice my concern, LaTonya told me she'd invited several mutual friends, people I knew were of various ethnicities. Still, I was rather fixated on how out of place I was going to feel.
At the concert, the tiny section of LaTonya's friends stood out in the nearly homogeneous sea of faces. Maybe I was imagining, but I felt eyes fixed on me. I later told LaTonya my fears about being "The Other" in the room. Her words stick with me to this day: "Holly, I feel that way everywhere except my church." Then it hit me—LaTonya had been incredibly bold inviting me to her concert. At the place where she fit in comfortably, where she was "The Every," she'd differentiated herself by bringing her ethnically diverse group of friends.
Questions filled my head. Why had I felt out of place—in a church?! Did I not recognize that I was part of the body of Christ, and that the body is diverse? How could I be so clueless to not see that my buddy LaTonya regularly felt like The Other?
Unlike LaTonya, I'm usually The Every, a gal who's used to fitting in just about everywhere. I have a mix of Caucasian, Filipino, Mexican, and Native American ancestry. I've been a member of Asian and Chicano social groups, and I proudly wear my "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" button on St. Patrick's Day. I feel comfortable around people of every ethnicity.
That is, until someone makes me feel I'm The Other. I've been told "You're not really Asian" and called pocha (a slur describing a Mexican woman who's lost her culture). When I was in third grade, a skinhead shouted at me, "Don't you wish you were white?" Just a few years ago, a complete stranger in a store snarled, "Why don't you go back where you came from?" as we both waited in the checkout line. The hurtful message sent to The Other is: You're not like us. You don't belong.
You'd hope folks wouldn't be made to feel like The Other within the Christian community. Unfortunately, hurts happen here, too.
When LifeWay Christian Resources began promoting "Far-out Far East Rickshaw Rally—Racing to the Son," its 2004 Vacation Bible School program, members of the Asian-American community noted stereotypical images such as rickshaws, take-out boxes, and karate uniforms, and called the material racially offensive. Despite a protest petition and a letter-writing campaign headed by an Asian pastor, LifeWay defended the curriculum and distributed it.
And just a couple months ago, a North Carolina church made headlines after three white members in blackface lip-synched to hymns at a church function. The church initially defended the performance, asserting it was meant to celebrate gospel music, not intended to poke fun. Soon after, the pastor issued a public apology to those who'd been offended, but didn't condemn the performance itself.
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Pat
"Did I not recognize that I was part of the body of Christ, and that the body is diverse?" As an African-American who attended a predominantly white church for 12 years, yes, we are the body of Christ, but the reality is, depending on the people within each worshipping community, that will either be easy or difficult to live out.I have many stories of my time in this church. While there were some who liked me and seemed not to treat me any differently, there were others who were ignorant, insensitive or insecure and that made life difficult. I finally came to the place where I decided to move on. I haven't found another church yet and am in no hurry to do so, but one of the factors that will be important to me is how they treat the "other". Are they comfortable with them or do they treat them like an oddity? Do they embrace them or ignore them? Are they even aware of what would be considered insensitive or do they just live in a bubble unaware of others outside of that bubble?
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